I have always felt that it is so unfair to be female, particularly every month during our fertile years. Males NEVER have to deal with the crap of bleeding for one week out of every stinking month from middle school age until their 50s. Apparently this ‘great divide’ in equality continues as we age. When we finally get to the beginning of the end of these monthly pain-in-the-asses, a whole new slew of problems arise due to our hormones going away. And when menopause becomes official, which can apparently take up to 10 years, an entirely new set of issues develop, such as brittle bones, lack of sex drive, and lubrication issues, to say the least. Ahhhh...Life.
The following conversation occurred yesterday between my friend (who is a wonderfully laid back woman with a fabulous sense of humor) and her gynecologist:
Doc: So tell me what is going on with you?
Lola: Well, one month I won’t have my period and then the next month I’ll have 2. I am tired all of the time. I could sleep 14 hours a day and I’m gaining weight.
Doc: Welcome to life in your 40s. Tell me about your periods; do you have blood clots?
Lola: Yes, like I’m dropping hamsters.
Doc: Definitely sounds like your 40s.
Lola: I have no sex drive. My husband wants sex and I just don’t want to be bothered with such nonsense; that is 2 minutes of my life I will never get back.
Doc: You’re perfectly normal. I will put you on birth control pills to regulate your period.
Lola: I was truly hoping for a pill so I would NEVER have another period again. We can send a man to the moon and yet can’t stop my crazy periods!! I’m 44 years old, have had my tubes tied for 10 years, I don’t have sex, and NOW I get on birth control pills. Really.
Lola (after her appointment): I had to get my thyroid checked, so they drew blood. Apparently the only thing in me that doesn’t want to bleed out of control is my veins; that tiny needle hurt like hell. So ladies welcome to your 40’s. Life is grand. It gets better, I am only peri-menopause now, I have 10 years before the party that is actual menopause starts. YEAH.
Laughing Along This Journey,
Me
Motivational Moment:
May you have good friends to share laughs with as you travel along your life's journey.
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