I had the pleasure of going to see the play called "Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody" last night. It is advertised as a 'naughty and hilarious' show. Our group consisted of 5 guys and 4 girls. Little did we know when we bought the tickets that it was advertised as a 'great girls night out'. When the men in our group found this out (which happened to be at dinner before the play) they were none too happy. In fact, they felt they were being led to a male revue which would consist of an entire audience of screaming women; however, I assured them the book did not contain any male revue scenes...
The play, apparently, had a different idea, as indeed, there were a couple of male revue-type scenes. And as I was sitting there cringing (as well as laughing), I was wondering if the men in our group were going to kill me. I am happy to say that they took the scenes in stride. My one male friend leaned over and said, "the girl better be doing that next!". Let's just say he was not disappointed. I am also happy to report that there were plenty of men in our audience (another fact that saved my hide!). Overall, our group was pleased with the performance and I, personally, had many moments of exuberant laughter. The experience in our group was such that, if you had read the book, you were able to understand and thus enjoy the play more so than those that had not read the book.
There were many topics brought up in this play that I thought were apt for real life and yet presented in such a hilarious manner, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. One such topic was the impatience that we book lovers have to deal with when it comes to living real life. When I am in the middle of a particularly engaging novel, the last thing I want to do is put that book down! I want to devour it as fast as I can. Beware to the fool who tries to stop me from my delicious task (aka husband and kids) as they are maliciously attacked for sucking me back into reality! ;) At one point in the play, the narrator was all sing-songy and happy when writing her book, but when she had to take a call from her husband, she was short and crabby. I died laughing! Such an excellent depiction of what all of us book lovers go through! How dare us have to deal with the mundane (and sometimes irritating) aspects of life. Hmmmph!
Another life topic that was hilariously depicted was the 'first time'. This would be another good survey to put out there - asking for a description of each person's first experience with sex. I can't imagine any woman saying her first time was wonderful. In fact, that is one part of romance novels that makes me roll my eyes. They always describe the female character's first time as painful at first and then it becomes wonderful and amazing, even magical. Oh please! Maybe for men! But I would imagine, that even for men, the first time is not all that spectacular due to them being nervous. Of course, there is a big difference between the pain females experience versus the slight (if at all) nerves that men feel; however my point is that no one's first time is amazing!
And yet, there are so many references, such as in books, movies, and songs, falsely promoting how fabulous the first time is. Some songs that come to mind: "Feels like the first time..." (Foreigner), "Tonight's the night..." (Rod Stewart), "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time" (Madonna). Ouch! Who are these people kidding?! It wasn't a fun time, to be re-lived over and over. What a misleading bunch of crap! Are these writers trying to create a fairy tale or fantasy around their experience to make themselves feel better? Are they trying to encourage it? I find it interesting that it is written with such reverence; that it is hailed as such a wonderful experience. And yet, as I sit here writing this, it comes to me. The reason it inspires such prose is because it can only happen once in your life. You really don't get much more of a momentous occasion than that. All of us are virgins until, well, we aren't. There are no take backs or do-overs. So perhaps that is why so many write about it. They realize how special this once in a lifetime event is, and they want you to realize it to, before it's gone. Good for them I say.
Realistically (yet also Romantically) Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
I thought it would be appropriate to list some quotes about pleasure for this blog's motivational moment. Enjoy!
1. “If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” E.B. White
2. “Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.” Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book
3. "I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.” Oscar Wilde
4. “My God, a moment of bliss. Why, isn't that enough for a whole lifetime?” Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights
5. “I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.” Rita Mae Brown
6. "If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.” Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope
Long live romance novels! May you enjoy a fabulous escape from reality with whatever type of novel that suits your passion!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
For The Love of Massage!
Well I figure since my last blog was a complaint (aka rant) about new appliances, this one should have a positive spin to it. Yin and Yang. Now my world is balanced. (Ha! If only it were that simple.)
I had the pleasure of having a massage today. I LOVE massages! I adore them! I wish I could have one every day. As I was laying there in complete bliss, I was inspired to write. How fabulous to be able to indulge in a luxury such as a massage. It had been awhile since I had the opportunity to enjoy a massage because I had the dubious luck of coming down with the flu that is currently sweeping across the nation. Add having the flu to it being holiday time and boy was I overdue for some serious relaxation!
It never fails to amaze me at how wonderfully I can escape with a massage. I can be hurried, stressed, upset, sad, exhausted, frustrated, etc. and when I walk into that room and hear the soothing, relaxing music and smell the calming aromatherapy, it is like walking into another world; it is an escape from reality. It has now become a Pavlovian response; after years of getting massages and experiencing complete relaxation, as soon as I am in the environment, the stress immediately starts disintegrating. And then the massage starts. The body relaxes, the mind calms, the breathing slows. You are taken away from all your worries and stresses. Your body melts. There is only you, the music, and the wonderful masseuse who is giving you one of the best gifts one person can give another: relaxation. (Thank you Debbie, Anthony, and Mike!)
Now I know not all people enjoy massages; some people are not comfortable having someone else rub their body, for whatever reason. My wish for you is that you have something in your life that provides you with blissful relaxation.
This Serenity Goddess's ultimate luxuries: A fabulous, relaxing massage, delicious chocolate, and an enticing romance novel. Mmmmmm! We must all enjoy times of bliss during our life's journey!
Indulgently Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
1. When I was signing on to write this blog, I came across another blog that I thought was inspiring. It is: menopausegoddessblog. What I loved about this blog is that it refers to the authors as goddesses and then calls each one a Venus (such as Lynette-Venus). Gotta love it! Now mind you, the topic is a little scary for those of us who are not there yet but are well on our way!! But nonetheless, their humor and attitude are refreshing for something that is not all that fun to experience but must be experienced nonetheless. Good for them for making the best of it and helping others do the same. You go Menopause Goddesses!
2. Quote: “If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide to Your True Destiny
I was thinking about this the other day. This whole thought that if you didn't experience rough times, you wouldn't enjoy the calm ones as much; or if I didn't experience stress, I wouldn't get anywhere near the blissful relaxation that I get from massages. Now that I think about it, that is probably the reason my husband can take or leave massages. He tends not to have the level of stress that I put on myself (yes...I do realize this. It's one of my acclaimed character flaws).
May you find more joys for yourself and experience them more often than not!
I had the pleasure of having a massage today. I LOVE massages! I adore them! I wish I could have one every day. As I was laying there in complete bliss, I was inspired to write. How fabulous to be able to indulge in a luxury such as a massage. It had been awhile since I had the opportunity to enjoy a massage because I had the dubious luck of coming down with the flu that is currently sweeping across the nation. Add having the flu to it being holiday time and boy was I overdue for some serious relaxation!
It never fails to amaze me at how wonderfully I can escape with a massage. I can be hurried, stressed, upset, sad, exhausted, frustrated, etc. and when I walk into that room and hear the soothing, relaxing music and smell the calming aromatherapy, it is like walking into another world; it is an escape from reality. It has now become a Pavlovian response; after years of getting massages and experiencing complete relaxation, as soon as I am in the environment, the stress immediately starts disintegrating. And then the massage starts. The body relaxes, the mind calms, the breathing slows. You are taken away from all your worries and stresses. Your body melts. There is only you, the music, and the wonderful masseuse who is giving you one of the best gifts one person can give another: relaxation. (Thank you Debbie, Anthony, and Mike!)
Now I know not all people enjoy massages; some people are not comfortable having someone else rub their body, for whatever reason. My wish for you is that you have something in your life that provides you with blissful relaxation.
This Serenity Goddess's ultimate luxuries: A fabulous, relaxing massage, delicious chocolate, and an enticing romance novel. Mmmmmm! We must all enjoy times of bliss during our life's journey!
Indulgently Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
1. When I was signing on to write this blog, I came across another blog that I thought was inspiring. It is: menopausegoddessblog. What I loved about this blog is that it refers to the authors as goddesses and then calls each one a Venus (such as Lynette-Venus). Gotta love it! Now mind you, the topic is a little scary for those of us who are not there yet but are well on our way!! But nonetheless, their humor and attitude are refreshing for something that is not all that fun to experience but must be experienced nonetheless. Good for them for making the best of it and helping others do the same. You go Menopause Goddesses!
2. Quote: “If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide to Your True Destiny
I was thinking about this the other day. This whole thought that if you didn't experience rough times, you wouldn't enjoy the calm ones as much; or if I didn't experience stress, I wouldn't get anywhere near the blissful relaxation that I get from massages. Now that I think about it, that is probably the reason my husband can take or leave massages. He tends not to have the level of stress that I put on myself (yes...I do realize this. It's one of my acclaimed character flaws).
May you find more joys for yourself and experience them more often than not!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Technological Advancements or Disappointments?
We recently bought a new washer, dryer, and dishwasher. Being able to buy new things are typically happy occasions (once you get past the research, the decision making process, price negotiating, etc.). The purchase and installations went well enough (that is a whole other blog topic...). We couldn't wait to have them delivered and start using them. Well let me tell you - fast forward 6 months down the road, and well, we are not so excited any more. The thrill of the new, shiny appliances has faded and in its place, disappointment reigns. If only we knew then what we know now.
Let me start with the dishwasher. During the first couple weeks of our dishwasher usage, some type of plastic black stuff fell out of the bottom of the door. Not sure what that was, but it's not leaking water when it runs - so that's good. My husband was going to call the company, but such is life that you don't get around to the things that aren't screaming at you. Then, for some reason, our cat saw something moving at the bottom of the door when it was running and decided to pull all the lining out of the door. Ahhhh...the joys of pet ownership! Another new development with our new dishwasher is that it no longer can clean chocolate off of the dishes. If the slightest bit of hot chocolate or chocolate ice cream is on a dish when it goes into the dishwasher, worry not, because it will still be there for you to enjoy when it comes out of the dishwasher. Another joyful fact I noticed was that the dishes were coming out cloudy. After calls to the manufacturer as well as researching on-line (not to mention completely replacing a new dishwasher x 2), apparently there was a mandatory removal of phosphates from dishwashing soap that is the cause of this residue (cheap tip: put a little of unsweetened koolaid lemonade packets in your dishwasher to eliminate this residue). Couldn't they simply have told us this was going to happen, and to not worry that it is your appliance, when in actuality it is your soap!!!
Now let me move on to the clothes washing machine. All I have to say is whomever created these 'water-conserving' machines, must not have EVER washed a full load of clothes in them!! I mean it. The research and development was quite sub-par. I am not sure how they became so main stream with how poorly they clean clothes. I seriously HATE it! I have listed the main reasons below:
1. One Big Knot. With the old agitator washing machines, my clothes would be easy to remove from the washer and put into the dryer. This is NOT the case with the NEW and IMPROVED washer! Now when I go to pull out the clothes, I can grab one item and the ENTIRE load comes out with it. I am not exaggerating. I can pull out the entire load by grabbing ONE item because they are all entwined together in one giant knot. Seriously - that is ridiculous!
2. Bring Out the Iron. Because of the fabulous knot-tying capabilities of this new washer, I now have to iron almost every shirt that comes out of it. With my old (wonderful) washer, I had perfected the technique of pulling clothes out of the dryer when they are damp and immediately hanging them up, which prevented wrinkles. I never had to iron and everything was wrinkle-free (well almost everything). Due to the fact that this new washer wrinkles everything to the point of no return, there is no chance for the shirts to come out wrinkle free. I now have a stack of clean clothes that need ironing before I can wear them. Yay me!!
3. Forget Delicate Clothing. Due to the fact that this wonderful, water-conserving machine ties everything in knots, don't even get me started on what it does to underwire bras...
4. Not Clean. I pulled out a black cami from my washer today, and there was still white deodorant on the underarm of it. That NEVER happened with my old agitator washer. It actually CLEANED clothes.
5. Mold. Today I went to rinse out the fabric softener holder and found that the sides of it were all moldy! This washer is only 6 months old! UGH!!
These new washers need to come with the following advertisement (aka warning): This new washer will not only conserve water, thus saving the environment, it will give you the added pleasure of spending hours ironing (since you have nothing but time on your hands and were desperately looking for a way to fill your days) as well as give you the joy of walking around in clothes that do not appear to be clean (as evident by all your stains, deodorant, etc.). Enjoy your new - very expensive - purchase!!
Speaking of washing clothes, I need to digress for a moment. Have any women out there noticed that men's clothes come out of the dryer wrinkle-free (well - when you used an older washing machine that is)? My husband and I both have "wrinkle-free" shirts and pants. And his come out of the dryer - completely wrinkle free!! All of my "wrinkle-free" clothes come out of the dryer a wrinkled mess. That is total, unfair crap!!! Alas, it is still a man's world. Lucky men!
The moral of this story is - you don't realize how good you have it until it's gone. *SIGH* I miss my clean dishes and my clean, wrinkle-free clothes!!
Disgruntle-ly Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
1. All great changes are preceded by chaos.” -Deepak Chopra
- particularly the chaos of dirty, wrinkly clothes and dirty dishes!
2. I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. ~Michael Jordan
- and I can't accept failing appliances...keep trying inventors!!!
3. Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.” ~ Tony Robbins
- I love this quote for this subject. Because while I agree that water and energy conservation are so important for the sustainability of our planet, I disagree that these new appliances are an improvement, when they do not meet their main function - which is cleaning. I am urging for more progress that leads to energy-efficient appliances that actually clean very well while still using little water. I have confidence that we will get there!
4. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” ~ Randy Pausch
- And apparently this means that my new hand is to get really good at - as well as enjoy - ironing!
Go forth and produce good, positive change!
Let me start with the dishwasher. During the first couple weeks of our dishwasher usage, some type of plastic black stuff fell out of the bottom of the door. Not sure what that was, but it's not leaking water when it runs - so that's good. My husband was going to call the company, but such is life that you don't get around to the things that aren't screaming at you. Then, for some reason, our cat saw something moving at the bottom of the door when it was running and decided to pull all the lining out of the door. Ahhhh...the joys of pet ownership! Another new development with our new dishwasher is that it no longer can clean chocolate off of the dishes. If the slightest bit of hot chocolate or chocolate ice cream is on a dish when it goes into the dishwasher, worry not, because it will still be there for you to enjoy when it comes out of the dishwasher. Another joyful fact I noticed was that the dishes were coming out cloudy. After calls to the manufacturer as well as researching on-line (not to mention completely replacing a new dishwasher x 2), apparently there was a mandatory removal of phosphates from dishwashing soap that is the cause of this residue (cheap tip: put a little of unsweetened koolaid lemonade packets in your dishwasher to eliminate this residue). Couldn't they simply have told us this was going to happen, and to not worry that it is your appliance, when in actuality it is your soap!!!
Now let me move on to the clothes washing machine. All I have to say is whomever created these 'water-conserving' machines, must not have EVER washed a full load of clothes in them!! I mean it. The research and development was quite sub-par. I am not sure how they became so main stream with how poorly they clean clothes. I seriously HATE it! I have listed the main reasons below:
1. One Big Knot. With the old agitator washing machines, my clothes would be easy to remove from the washer and put into the dryer. This is NOT the case with the NEW and IMPROVED washer! Now when I go to pull out the clothes, I can grab one item and the ENTIRE load comes out with it. I am not exaggerating. I can pull out the entire load by grabbing ONE item because they are all entwined together in one giant knot. Seriously - that is ridiculous!
2. Bring Out the Iron. Because of the fabulous knot-tying capabilities of this new washer, I now have to iron almost every shirt that comes out of it. With my old (wonderful) washer, I had perfected the technique of pulling clothes out of the dryer when they are damp and immediately hanging them up, which prevented wrinkles. I never had to iron and everything was wrinkle-free (well almost everything). Due to the fact that this new washer wrinkles everything to the point of no return, there is no chance for the shirts to come out wrinkle free. I now have a stack of clean clothes that need ironing before I can wear them. Yay me!!
3. Forget Delicate Clothing. Due to the fact that this wonderful, water-conserving machine ties everything in knots, don't even get me started on what it does to underwire bras...
4. Not Clean. I pulled out a black cami from my washer today, and there was still white deodorant on the underarm of it. That NEVER happened with my old agitator washer. It actually CLEANED clothes.
5. Mold. Today I went to rinse out the fabric softener holder and found that the sides of it were all moldy! This washer is only 6 months old! UGH!!
These new washers need to come with the following advertisement (aka warning): This new washer will not only conserve water, thus saving the environment, it will give you the added pleasure of spending hours ironing (since you have nothing but time on your hands and were desperately looking for a way to fill your days) as well as give you the joy of walking around in clothes that do not appear to be clean (as evident by all your stains, deodorant, etc.). Enjoy your new - very expensive - purchase!!
Speaking of washing clothes, I need to digress for a moment. Have any women out there noticed that men's clothes come out of the dryer wrinkle-free (well - when you used an older washing machine that is)? My husband and I both have "wrinkle-free" shirts and pants. And his come out of the dryer - completely wrinkle free!! All of my "wrinkle-free" clothes come out of the dryer a wrinkled mess. That is total, unfair crap!!! Alas, it is still a man's world. Lucky men!
The moral of this story is - you don't realize how good you have it until it's gone. *SIGH* I miss my clean dishes and my clean, wrinkle-free clothes!!
Disgruntle-ly Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
1. All great changes are preceded by chaos.” -Deepak Chopra
- particularly the chaos of dirty, wrinkly clothes and dirty dishes!
2. I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. ~Michael Jordan
- and I can't accept failing appliances...keep trying inventors!!!
3. Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.” ~ Tony Robbins
- I love this quote for this subject. Because while I agree that water and energy conservation are so important for the sustainability of our planet, I disagree that these new appliances are an improvement, when they do not meet their main function - which is cleaning. I am urging for more progress that leads to energy-efficient appliances that actually clean very well while still using little water. I have confidence that we will get there!
4. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” ~ Randy Pausch
- And apparently this means that my new hand is to get really good at - as well as enjoy - ironing!
Go forth and produce good, positive change!
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