Loving, selfless people amaze me. Inspire me. Humble me.
It is so common to see selfish people; condescending people; not kind people; even just plain jerks. Thus, when I witness true selflessness, as well as the simple, all-encompassing, deep love of a mother, it melts my heart to the core!
I have the pleasure of working with such a beautiful soul. She is such a sweetheart. For the purpose of this blog, I shall call her Ariel since her and I love the beach and wish we were mermaids. She is always kind to others. She works full time during the day and then on evenings and weekends, she is either helping out her husband with his company, or cooking meals for her children and grandchildren.
Her life is not easy. She works hard. And yet she stays so nice. Mind you, the fact that I appreciate this so much, tells you I get stressed and overwhelmed and downright grumpy. I am in awe of her. Her life's story is one of love, despite difficulties. Ariel comes from a family of 8 kids and her husband comes from a family of 10 kids. They were married at age 16. Ariel's father passed away from a heart attack at age 43. Her mom's brother came to live with them and she said he was so fun. Her mom passed away 3 years ago at the age of 89. She has so much love for her mom that she tears up to this day when she talks about her. She sounds like she was also a beautiful, loving soul.
Her recent experience with her daughter is just one small example of who she is.
Ariel has an adult daughter who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Lately she has been struggling with her medication. She had an episode recently where she was found on the road by police, sitting in her car, and she didn't know who she was. She was admitted into a mental health facility for 3 days. My friend had a very rough time that first day and was very unhappy how her daughter was treated, but there was nothing she could do and that broke her heart.
The 3 days came to pass and her daughter was stabilized. When she was released, she had an appointment set up with her psychiatrist because the mental health facility doctor felt she was not on the right medicine. The problem was that she couldn't get in to see her doctor for three weeks - which is an eternity when someone is not on the right med and going through a crises.
Well she made it through the weekend ok but then Ariel wasn't at work. When she came in the next day, she told me what happened and it broke my heart. Her daughter was very agitated and not sleeping. She called Ariel at 2am. She was sitting in her boyfriend's car at her dad's company. Ariel tried getting her in her car but she didn't want to go home or to her place. So what did she do? She ended up walking up and down the road for over an hour. At 3am. Ranting and raving. In a black trench coat. What did Ariel do? She followed her up and down the road, lighting her way, making sure she was safe. For an hour. At 3am in the morning.
When Ariel finally did get her daughter home, she only slept an hour and a half because she's not sleeping on this medication - which is causing a lot of the problem. Ariel ended up being awake from 2am the one morning, until midnight the following night. And then she came to work the next day. If that were me, I would have called off for a second day and spent the day in bed.
Ariel's response? "I love her so much and will do whatever I can to help her find some peace."
This, my friends, is beautiful, selfless love.
May we all strive to give it and be lucky enough to receive it.
Hugs and Love,
SG
Motivational Moment:
I thought it was very fitting to post this blog in the month of May since it is Mental Health Awareness Month.
To all those suffering with mental illnesses, my heart goes out to you and my hope is that you have loved ones that stay by your side through good times and bad.
There are many negative connotations to the internet age and social media; however there are also many positives, particularly when it comes to finding support for whatever you are going through.
25 years ago, when I first started experiencing panic and anxiety, I didn't have support groups on the internet to reach out to; whereas today, you can find information, support groups, self help tips, pretty much anything you can think of that can help you through your dark times. Recently, I have found amazing, beautiful souls on Instagram who are suffering with many different things, from addictions to anxiety, panic, depression, and bipolar disorder. They are the individuals who spread the most hope, kindness, understanding, and sunshine despite the pain and suffering they are going though, maybe even because of it.
May you have all the love and support you need, not only during your difficult times, but throughout your life.
Thursday, May 31, 2018
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
A Mother's Love
Unconditional Love. That is what all Love should be. Whether it's for a parent, a child, a sibling, or a significant other. Love, in its true essence, is unconditional. However, I find in my perfectionism, that while I have it for my children, I don't have it as naturally for my significant other. In fact, I tend to be much more critical of my significant other, even though I wish that was not the case. How much easier life - and certainly marriages - would be, if we all loved everyone in our lives unconditionally. *sigh* Utopia. And here I go again wishing for all to be perfect.
Well, since I can't obtain perfection in all things, I will say that being a parent has shown me that it is unconditional love, or certainly as close to it as truly possible. As evidenced by my feelings towards my daughter and the Mother's Day card she made me this year:
She is 12 years old (going on 20). Her cards are typically written with such love and sweetness that I treasure them, particularly since she has become quite surly in the last two years. But this year's card matches her current personality (well, when she's tired, that is). And it made me laugh in its brutal honesty. I will say that when she's not crabby, she actually has a wonderful sense of humor that I am truly enjoying. All I can do is love her. She's currently my little punk, but I still love her unconditionally.
Oh, if only I were like that in my romantic relationships. Poor guys don't stand a chance. ;-)
Keep Lovin On,
SG
Motivational Moment:
One of my Life’s Little LaughablesTM: with the aforementioned daughter of mine.
The following conversation occurred driving home the other day:
Me: I have got to lose this gut!!
Her: What is your 'gut'?
Me: My fat belly!
Her: So the saying "listen to your gut" means "listen to your FAT?!"
Well, since I can't obtain perfection in all things, I will say that being a parent has shown me that it is unconditional love, or certainly as close to it as truly possible. As evidenced by my feelings towards my daughter and the Mother's Day card she made me this year:
She is 12 years old (going on 20). Her cards are typically written with such love and sweetness that I treasure them, particularly since she has become quite surly in the last two years. But this year's card matches her current personality (well, when she's tired, that is). And it made me laugh in its brutal honesty. I will say that when she's not crabby, she actually has a wonderful sense of humor that I am truly enjoying. All I can do is love her. She's currently my little punk, but I still love her unconditionally.
Oh, if only I were like that in my romantic relationships. Poor guys don't stand a chance. ;-)
Keep Lovin On,
SG
Motivational Moment:
One of my Life’s Little LaughablesTM: with the aforementioned daughter of mine.
The following conversation occurred driving home the other day:
Me: I have got to lose this gut!!
Her: What is your 'gut'?
Me: My fat belly!
Her: So the saying "listen to your gut" means "listen to your FAT?!"
Sunday, May 6, 2018
For The Love of The Happy Couple - Part 1
I'm intrigued with long-term couples who seem to be truly happy and in love with each other.
In a society where half of the marriages fail, and the majority of the remaining half don't seem happy, I want to learn about the ones that seem truly happy. What are the ingredients that make this possible? Everyone gets married with the hope of the happily ever after, but so many of us fail in that (myself included). Thus, in the effort of fixing what is broken, I want to learn about what makes it work in those successful relationships.
By all means, I am not an expert in anything. This is merely my attempt at understanding and bettering my human experience.
Today's blog is about Maggie and Jake. They preferred for me to write an anonymous blog and as such, those are not their real names.
Maggie is larger than life. She comes from a loving, Irish Catholic family where her father, grandfather, and uncles were all in the police department. She recently retired from an impressive career in Sales. I say it is impressive, because so many of her customers truly love her. She is close with many of them, such that she has been invited to their homes and children's weddings. In fact, when she retired, one of her accounts flew her and her husband out to them for a nice dinner and weekend. It is just who she is. She always has a wonderful, positive attitude and is a very friendly person to everyone. There is not a negative bone in her body. She is chill and doesn't get worked up over many things. She encourages those around her. There is no such things as business setbacks for her since she is able to find a way around the majority of obstacles set before her. I truly enjoyed working with Maggie, as she is a mentor to me both professionally and personally, with her optimistic spirit.
Part of me thinks the key to a successful relationship lies in having at least one partner who is the chill one; one that not merely tolerates but that actually enjoys the antics of the more uptight or wild partner. This is how I see Maggie and Jake's relationship. Jake has been retired for a few years. And whenever Maggie talks about Jake, she says how lucky she is to have him. They have been together 30 years. They met through work. Maggie was a Sales Person who made routine calls at this business and Jake would make service calls at this business. Jake would find out when Maggie's visits were and would schedule his for the same time. They were engaged one year after they met; however I was so surprised to learn that they didn't get married until 18 years later! I asked what finally made her do it after all those years. She said: "He said my shelf life was expiring." They eloped on a beach since they didn't want to deal with the multitude of family and friends who would have wanted to have a say in the big event.
Jake is a truly wild and carefree spirit. In retirement, he has many weekly get-togethers, such as lunches with two different groups of retirees, shopping trips with a childhood friend, band practice in which he plays the accordion. Here are a handful of events that truly describe his essence:
1. He was the Master of Ceremonies at his 50th high school reunion. He spoke over an hour to laughter and applause.
2. Him and the lunch gang (4 men) saw an advertisement for $99 flights to Iceland, so the 4 immediately booked a 10 day trip and then informed their unsuspecting wives! (What is even more amazing to me is that all 4 wives were fine with this little impromptu trip to Iceland!).
3. One day he headed out to buy flowers and planters and instead came home with a $1600 stainless steel canoe (which you better believe they used!).
4. He bought a custom size king bed (larger than a California King!), to which she had to order custom bedding as well as a step stool. The ironic story here is that he sleeps right against her, so over half of the bed is empty!
She just laughs at his antics and says she is the luckiest woman in the world. After she tells me a story about one of his crazy adventures, she simply laughs and says she adores him. "He's so cute. Why would I get mad?" (Let's just say that I would not have the same reaction were I in her shoes.) Perhaps that's the answer to a happy and long lasting marriage: Appreciation and Acceptance. Perfectionism and control issues are the opposite of appreciation and acceptance. Isn't that the true meaning of love, to truly appreciate and accept an individual, wholly for who they are?
Maggie and Jake have such a true love for life and each other. They are constantly having friends and family over and fly out of state on a regular basis to their daughter's house. Maggie told me one day this last fall that they went to the afternoon football game downtown with 2 couples, then had dinner downtown and then met 3 other couples for the evening baseball game. They are amazing socialites with a true Joie de Vivre!
I keep telling Maggie that her and Jake should routinely write about their escapades, for they truly are hilarious; however, they are too busy to do it.
Love truly is what makes the world go round.
Live in Love,
SG
Motivational Moment:
Today's Moment is one of my Life’s Little LaughablesTM:
I have a friend at work who is always very encouraging to me. The other day we were walking down the hallway together and he asked how I was doing. I said I had a lot going on. He said: "I'm not worried. I know you can handle it." His encouraging words brought a smile to my face. I said: "You just made my heart swell." His immediate response: "We're Happy Swellers. Instead of Happy Fellers, we're Happy Swellers! You make my heart swell all the time!"
Wishing you all moments of giving and getting "Heart-Swelling" throughout your day!
Hugs,
SG
In a society where half of the marriages fail, and the majority of the remaining half don't seem happy, I want to learn about the ones that seem truly happy. What are the ingredients that make this possible? Everyone gets married with the hope of the happily ever after, but so many of us fail in that (myself included). Thus, in the effort of fixing what is broken, I want to learn about what makes it work in those successful relationships.
By all means, I am not an expert in anything. This is merely my attempt at understanding and bettering my human experience.
Today's blog is about Maggie and Jake. They preferred for me to write an anonymous blog and as such, those are not their real names.
Maggie is larger than life. She comes from a loving, Irish Catholic family where her father, grandfather, and uncles were all in the police department. She recently retired from an impressive career in Sales. I say it is impressive, because so many of her customers truly love her. She is close with many of them, such that she has been invited to their homes and children's weddings. In fact, when she retired, one of her accounts flew her and her husband out to them for a nice dinner and weekend. It is just who she is. She always has a wonderful, positive attitude and is a very friendly person to everyone. There is not a negative bone in her body. She is chill and doesn't get worked up over many things. She encourages those around her. There is no such things as business setbacks for her since she is able to find a way around the majority of obstacles set before her. I truly enjoyed working with Maggie, as she is a mentor to me both professionally and personally, with her optimistic spirit.
Part of me thinks the key to a successful relationship lies in having at least one partner who is the chill one; one that not merely tolerates but that actually enjoys the antics of the more uptight or wild partner. This is how I see Maggie and Jake's relationship. Jake has been retired for a few years. And whenever Maggie talks about Jake, she says how lucky she is to have him. They have been together 30 years. They met through work. Maggie was a Sales Person who made routine calls at this business and Jake would make service calls at this business. Jake would find out when Maggie's visits were and would schedule his for the same time. They were engaged one year after they met; however I was so surprised to learn that they didn't get married until 18 years later! I asked what finally made her do it after all those years. She said: "He said my shelf life was expiring." They eloped on a beach since they didn't want to deal with the multitude of family and friends who would have wanted to have a say in the big event.
Jake is a truly wild and carefree spirit. In retirement, he has many weekly get-togethers, such as lunches with two different groups of retirees, shopping trips with a childhood friend, band practice in which he plays the accordion. Here are a handful of events that truly describe his essence:
1. He was the Master of Ceremonies at his 50th high school reunion. He spoke over an hour to laughter and applause.
2. Him and the lunch gang (4 men) saw an advertisement for $99 flights to Iceland, so the 4 immediately booked a 10 day trip and then informed their unsuspecting wives! (What is even more amazing to me is that all 4 wives were fine with this little impromptu trip to Iceland!).
3. One day he headed out to buy flowers and planters and instead came home with a $1600 stainless steel canoe (which you better believe they used!).
4. He bought a custom size king bed (larger than a California King!), to which she had to order custom bedding as well as a step stool. The ironic story here is that he sleeps right against her, so over half of the bed is empty!
She just laughs at his antics and says she is the luckiest woman in the world. After she tells me a story about one of his crazy adventures, she simply laughs and says she adores him. "He's so cute. Why would I get mad?" (Let's just say that I would not have the same reaction were I in her shoes.) Perhaps that's the answer to a happy and long lasting marriage: Appreciation and Acceptance. Perfectionism and control issues are the opposite of appreciation and acceptance. Isn't that the true meaning of love, to truly appreciate and accept an individual, wholly for who they are?
Maggie and Jake have such a true love for life and each other. They are constantly having friends and family over and fly out of state on a regular basis to their daughter's house. Maggie told me one day this last fall that they went to the afternoon football game downtown with 2 couples, then had dinner downtown and then met 3 other couples for the evening baseball game. They are amazing socialites with a true Joie de Vivre!
I keep telling Maggie that her and Jake should routinely write about their escapades, for they truly are hilarious; however, they are too busy to do it.
Love truly is what makes the world go round.
Live in Love,
SG
Motivational Moment:
Today's Moment is one of my Life’s Little LaughablesTM:
I have a friend at work who is always very encouraging to me. The other day we were walking down the hallway together and he asked how I was doing. I said I had a lot going on. He said: "I'm not worried. I know you can handle it." His encouraging words brought a smile to my face. I said: "You just made my heart swell." His immediate response: "We're Happy Swellers. Instead of Happy Fellers, we're Happy Swellers! You make my heart swell all the time!"
Wishing you all moments of giving and getting "Heart-Swelling" throughout your day!
Hugs,
SG
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