Be The Antitoxin In This Toxic World

Be The Antitoxin.

Let that marinate for a moment.

I was having a conversation with some friends the other day and I mentioned that I was visiting a close relative who always seems to stress me out.  I even went so far as to describe the visit as toxic for me.  The reason it is hard for me to be around this person, is because she tends to be negative and critical about many things.  Being a highly sensitive, it hurts me, depresses me, and wears me down. Whether it be a work relationship or a personal relationship (close family members), when the environment is toxic to me, I just want to escape it.  I am starting to have zero tolerance for toxic negativity and criticism.  I also find it sad and frustrating because, in this particular instance, the person is one that I should feel very close to and as such, I want our time together to be full of love and joy - not negativity.

My friend, Johnny, had the best response to my toxic comment.  He said: "Well, let's all make an effort to be the antitoxin."  (Johnny has a history of saying some of the most thought provoking words to me that seem to light off a spark in my brain.)

One character flaw of mine is reactivity.  If you throw me into a fire (such as a stressful interaction with co-workers or family), I am going to catch immediately on fire.  I wish I could sit here and tell you that I am the fire extinguisher.  Truly, I would love more than anything to be the kind of person that, rather than catch on fire, or fuel the flames, I extinguish them with my calm and cool demeanor.  Unfortunately, that is not me.  Instead, I am highly reactive (flammable) and readily catch on fire when it is thrown my way.  However, I will never give up on striving for my calm!

Back to this antitoxin thought.  As I am writing this blog, not only do I see the super powers of what this would do for my personal and professional life, but I also see what this would do for the world, particularly in our current reality. We are in a year of extreme world stress and strife and the fallout to mental health is being witnessed again and again.  It is a catastrophic year to individuals' state of mind - on a global level.  What a miracle it would be if everyone could take a dose of a "love elixir" (as Johnny put it), and become the antitoxin to this toxic world that we are currently existing in.

Here's wishing a HUGE dose of LOVE, CALM, HOPE, and PEACE enter into us all during a nice, deep inhale whenever we feel us losing our cool and being reactive in a heated situation.

 

Sending out LOVE to ALL,

SG 

 

Motivational Moment:

This Motivational Moment goes out to my CC.  He brought calm and healing into my life during some very dark days.  When I recently thanked him for this, he responded by saying he is merely the band aid and that I healed myself. 💖

May you have people who are band aids in your life who help you heal in your times of need.  And on the contrary, may we be the band aid for others when they need some healing.

Be The Antitoxin In A Toxic World!

Peace, Love, and Hugs,

SG

A Moment in the Life of My Brain

As stated in many of my previous blogs, I have quite the active worrier mind. This entry was going to be one of my quick little Life’s Little LaughablesTM that I add to the end of a blog, but as I was typing it, I realized it was getting too long to be delegated to the end anecdote and thus, here it is, in its full blog glory:

This entry is a little snapshot of the ocean-sized difference between my anxious mind and a non-anxious (aka extremely calm) mind.

So, as is typical with my anxiety, something that would be no big deal in most brains, was a big monster growing in my brain.

This silly little topic is about flowers. In particular, these cute little yellow flowers that were bought for me, by my daughters, for my birthday.

I planted them in this big pot that is out in my driveway. They were planted side by side with a purple flower. (You can tell how adept I am at gardening by my very technical terms of "yellow" and "purple" flowers.)

Well ... the oddest thing started happening with my yellow flowers ... I swear they started smelling like garbage. And not only that - they had become infested with flies (which I didn't realize until I put the garbage can out by them for ONE night and the next morning the lid was covered in maggots). Yuk!!

About one week after that grossness (yes - another technical term), I noticed that not only were there flies everywhere, but now there were bees and wasps on these yellow flowers (I'm all for the honey bees, just not the wasps and flies).

So this is where my brain differs from the average calm brain:

 - This flower is going to continue to attract bees and wasps and flies until I have a huge infestation.
 - The house already has ONE fly in it from this pot being by the garage door, so this is going to become a HUGE problem.
 - If I try to remove these flowers, I will get stung by the scary wasps and bees.
 - If I spray pesticide on them, it will ruin the dirt for other flowers.

*mind spends some additional time on worse case scenarios*
*texts daughters about these armageddon flowers they bought me*
*decide to go splash white vinegar on the flowers to get rid of all insects so that flower removal can commence the next day and thus avoid armageddon*
*on way out the door, stop and ask boyfriend if all scary flying insects go to bed at night "somewhere"; he assures me they are back in their home (wherever that is!).*
*Boyfriend inquires as to what I am doing, so I fill him in on the white vinegar plan*
*Boyfriend walks out to scary flower pot with me.*

Him: "I'll just pull them out and throw them in the woods."

Me: "What - with your bare hands????  Don't you need a shovel and a wheel barrel?!!  What if you get stung????!!  Wait - let me turn on the light!"  *starts running into the garage*

Him: *grabs flower stems* (which all come out in one bunch since they were just transplanted from a pot a few weeks ago) *walks to woods and tosses them out*

Me: *standing there in shock at how incredibly fast, simple, and NON SCARY that was!!!*

Yup - just another daily moment in the incredibly exciting brain of mine.

Never-the-Dull-Moment Yours,

SG

Motivational Moment:

Of course this entry needs to end with a Life’s Little LaughablesTM (as if this entire entry isn't already one):

A few days before I noticed the flies and bees, a pest control company stopped by asking if I wanted to join their service, like a bunch of my neighbors. I kindly replied that I am happy with my current pest control but I wished him well.  He, of course, kept trying to sell me his service, so I kindly wished him well again and shut the door.

So in my mind - it was this dude who dumped some "garbage smell juice" on my flowers as he walked away with no sale.

#ConspiraciesRus


And if anyone happens to know what these yellow flowers are - and if they are supposed to smell like garbage or if my suspicious mind is correct - feel free to let me know.

Peace, Love, and Hugs,
SG

For The Love of Calm

This post is a shout out to all of the truly calm souls out there!  Us highly sensitive and anxious souls TRULY appreciate you.  We appreciate your calm waves that you naturally put out that soothe us, not only in times of crises, but even with daily overwhelm that occurs.

I was talking with a friend of mine today and it inspired me to send this quick Thank You out into the world for calm souls.  My friend "Lola" is one of these people.  She is chill ... calm ... peaceful.  Everything my anxious soul would love to be, but was not gifted as genetically.

Lola and I are both currently out of work for different reasons.  Lola and her husband moved to a different state to be by their children and grandchildren. I lost my job due to budget cuts.

On a daily basis, Lola is cracking me up with her efforts to find a job - as well as with the variety of jobs she is applying for.

Today, she mentioned she is applying to be a 911 Dispatch Operator.  This highlighted the extreme differences in who we are.  The thought of me having that job - well - it's actually unimaginable - for all of the obvious reasons of who I am.  Every time the phone rang, I would be in a panic over what emergency was on the other end.  And then I would be thrown into more of a panic, hearing about the panicky emergency.  Lola, on the other hand, is calm down to her soul.  She would be able to stay calm and handle the situation appropriately, thus being of great help to the person in need, on the other end of the line.

So this, my friends, is the entire point of this quick little blog today:

From the bottom of my heart, to the depth of my soul, (and any other appropriate analogy you can think of), I am extremely thankful and grateful for all of you calm souls out there!  Whether you have jobs in the emergency fields, helping others in their most scary time of need, or if you are simply a calm lifeline to someone in your life, you are all angels here on earth and we love you and appreciate you.

To my dear friend Lola, I thank you for all of the beautiful, soothing calm (as well as all the laughter) you have sent my way throughout our many years of friendship.  I wish you the best of luck with your job search and hope it ends with a role that helps others in their times of need.  You are the best.  Love you.

Gratefully Yours,
SG

Motivational Moment:

In the same theme as today's blog, this is a moment of gratitude for those in our lives that help us through tough times.  The world, as a whole, is currently experiencing a scary health crises that we have never had to face before.  Social media and the news inundate us constantly, and while I agree it is wise to be educated for the effort of prevention and saving lives, the downside of that is a colossal fear out in the collective population.  Since I am no expert by any means, my simple words are what work for me and my anxious soul: take time away from social media and the news, and do things that relax you - such as walks in nature, talking with calm souls or with friends that make you laugh, reading books, dancing, listening to music you love, spending time with your pets, getting a massage, watching movies, etc.  The important thing is that you do what works for YOU to relieve stress and allow you to relax - so whatever "that" is - go do more of "that" during these universal times of stress.

Peace, Love, and Hugs,
SG

The Only Constant in Life is Change

And just like that, with the snap of his fingers, they were gone.

Being a highly sensitive, I love movies.  I get immersed in them.  It's an escape from my own reality, which, let's just say, is an anxious one.  (To those that don't know, I am referencing the Avengers Infinity War movie in that first sentence.)

Some of the top stressors in life are: death of a loved one; major illness; divorce; moving; and job loss.  I have gone through three of the five in the last four years (two of which occurred in the last year: moving and job loss).  Ironically, even though I am Miss Anxiety, I am doing okay.  Mainly because I think the hardest for me to deal with would be some catastrophic illness like cancer, or the loss of a child.  My heart goes out to anyone who has to endure such heart breaking sorrow or pain.  And I still have yet to write about my divorce, but feel that long enough time has passed for me to be healed enough to do so; however that is for another day.

Today's blog is about unexpected job loss, which is why I refer to that scene from Infinity Wars, although I realize that comment mostly refers to death.  Death is the ultimate disappearing act from the living; whereas loss of a job, is merely you disappearing from that place of work.

Last week, I had the surreal experience of sitting at my desk and having my VP come up to me and say: "Can you come with me for a moment".  And just like that, I walked away from my desk, never to return.

My place of work went through budget cuts.  It happens.  It's a reality for many people and many businesses.  It's a reality of life.  In fact, it happened to me before (23 years ago) at my first job working at a hospital.

This morning, as I laid in bed, I was imagining all of us who were let go basically evaporating from our workplace.  And for those remaining, this first week has all of them walking around with our disappearance laying heavily on their minds; with our ashes, so to speak, floating in our empty cubes.   (On a side note, I will add that I truly wish all of them the best and I have no hard feelings because it was a business necessity to downsize.)

Today's musings are more about my identity.  My first day waking up and not having a job to go to had me feeling a little lost.  What is my purpose? Why am I here?  The busywork of going to a full time job every day gave me a purpose.  But even as I type that, I cringe.  This job was in no way my life's purpose.  In fact, I get more impassioned the more I think about that.  I am a people person.  I am a nurturer.  I am a mom to three amazing daughters.  I am an encourager, supporter, motivator to those around me.  I am not meant to sit at a desk all day, not doing those things.  There is much more to life than merely existing.  In fact, recently, I keep hearing and seeing this quote more and more: "You are not here to merely survive.  You are here to THRIVE."  Amen.  That has been resonating with me so much of late.  I don't want to merely survive.  To merely exist.  To go to a job I am not passionate about and literally waste away.  In fact, if you are not living your true passion and are merely existing, all you feel is the miseries of life.  The aches and pains and illnesses.  We all have our own unique gifts and talents that we are meant to share with the world.  When we can live to our full potential and beauty, then THAT my friends is THRIVING.  And that is exactly what I want to do...plan to do...WILL do...AM doing by writing this blog!

So, my wish for you today my friends is this...may you THRIVE!  May you live life to the fullest, using your natural gifts, and truly love it!

For now, I am going to truly enjoy every minute of my current reality.  And there is so much to enjoy...particularly not having to wake up early (I am so NOT a morning person!), not having to always be in a rush to get things done before and after work, not having to constantly be stressed because there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done when you are at your job for 9 hours a day, etc.  However, since I did not win the lottery, a full time job will once again be my reality at some point.  But until that time, I will read and write and organize my home and chill with my daughters, as much as I can.  And I will continue to find ways in which I can thrive, since life is so short and precious.

Thrivingly Yours,
SG


Motivational Moment:

Today's Moment is one of my Life’s Little LaughablesTM.  And although it is not a laugh out loud one, it gives me a chuckle about human nature.  Human nature is the immediate spreading of shocking news.  Maybe it's because most of us are bored and we like the thrill of the shock. I thought it was funny at how many people reached out to me immediately after I was let go.  Many of these people no longer worked at my place of employment (some even out of state), however news travels fast.  The beautiful thing here is that they all wished me well.  That's the beauty of being a highly sensitive and a people person.  I truly wish people well.  I want them to be happy.  I encourage and support them. So it was beautiful to experience these wishes towards me from so many of my current co-workers as well as former ones.

I wish you all love and support, not only during life's stressors, but at all times.

Peace, Love, and Hugs,
SG