I figured since I have so many 'deep thought' blogs, I would go ahead and write this one - despite my fear of being ridiculed for writing about such frivolity. Screw it - I am tired of living in fear over stupid things!
So here is my question to you world - just how importance is appearance? Seems like a silly question in that the answer is glaringly obvious - but is it? Does a woman with a younger appearance get treated better than a woman who appears older? Is she more successful? Or is it her knowledge and how she carries herself? This is one of those things where - if I were a full-time writer - I would do a study and have my hair be different colors and write about the results. Do blonds have more fun? Reds? And what does a completely gray head of hair get you in regards to experiences and professional successes?
I am 41 years old. I have dyed my hair red for the past 2 years for the mere joy of it. My natural color is a dull, dark brown and I decided to have some fun going to red. I have loved it. It has been fun. It puts me in a good mood; it makes me happy; I have received many compliments from men and women. However, in my new effort to live and eat more naturally, I have decided I want to stop putting that dye on my head every 2 months!
As my roots are starting to grow out, I have realized that I have quite the amount of gray hairs coming through! Which, for the record, was never told to me - the fact that you actually start getting grays in your early 40s, even 30s! What the heck - I thought that happened in your 60s. But no, apparently it is, and has been for many decades, the norm for women to dye that gray out. Because God forbid we naturally age like men. Why is the norm for women to have to dye their gray out and yet it is perfectly acceptable for men to 'age naturally'? So we women are expected to subject ourselves to all kinds of toxic chemicals while men aren't? That is not fair!
Since I have been pondering this thought, I have been paying attention to the hair of those all around me. And I notice that A LOT of women dye their hair. Whether it is making it blond (when they are not blond at all) or adding blond highlights to dark hair, or dyeing it any other number of colors. There are alot of reds out there. I am really going to miss being red and feeling more youthful by looking more youthful. But it absolutely drives me crazy thinking that we can't be ourselves when we age. Unfortunately though, since it is not the societal norm, you end up being the odd man out. You end up looking way older than all your counter-parts, since they are indeed coloring their hair and are thus looking much more youthful than you! Ugh!
Back to my original question, is it a bad move professionally (and even personally) to not dye those grays? Unfortunately, I truly think that it is a bad move, professionally speaking, because I really do think appearance matters in the workplace and I think the more youthful appearance on a middle-aged person, the better chance they have at success. This may sound shallow to some, but it is my opinion (and my opinion is colored by society). Regardless, I have decided to throw caution to the wind and bravely step away from the bi-monthly habit of putting toxic chemicals on my head. Time will tell. I am not sure I want to see myself looking so aged. The thought is depressing. It is hard enough feeling aged without having to be worried about looking aged, before (what I would consider) my time.
So...Go Girl Power! Just Say No to dyeing our hair!!
*Sigh* If only it were that easy to change a very, very old societal norm.
In Search of the Fountain of Youth,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Today's moment is a shout out to a business I discovered while researching the disease, ALS, on-line. (Unfortunately, a friend of mine has this absolutely horrid disease. And, because of my research, I gained a new-found respect for Lou Gehrig and who he was. What a truly amazing man!). Anyways, the website: www.Angelsforhope.org was a link on one of the ALS sites. It is a nonprofit organization that offers free crocheted angels for anyone in need of hope. Its logo is: "Spreading Hope One Stitch at a Time". I love the logo; I love the premise of the organization. It is run by Cindy. Cindy really impressed me by her kindness as well as her passion and this shout out is for her. Keep up the great work, Cindy! You are an inspiration!!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
It's All Been Done Before
When I was walking through the Art Museum, I came across a Picasso painting (La Vie 1903) which started quite the philosophical train of thought in my head. The thought was that all people - since the beginning of people - struggle with all the same things we do. Now I realize that may sound like an incredibly simplistic statement (such that you are rolling your eyes saying 'No kidding, Genius') but bare with me here for a moment.
As a child (hopefully), we are blissfully unaware of all the realities of the world (ie. divorce, cancer, deaths, etc.). A child still feels the magical-ness of life. Play-dates, birthday parties, vacations, amusement parks, dreaming about finding your true love and living happily ever after. I was (and of course still am) a lover of romance novels and romantic comedies. They are filled with laughter and love and promise a life of happiness. Ahhh - if only life were that simple.
Seeing Picasso's painting, La Vie, which is about the suicide of his friend after being rejected by a lover (and perhaps was the start of Picasso's battle with depression, his "Blue Period"), made me realize that everything we are going through, has been experienced before us. As children, we are basically ego-centric. Life is all about us. We don't yet have the capacity to think of others (which is a good thing in my opinion, since life can be so challenging, at times, for adults).
As adults, we have the mentality that life is unfair to us or hard for us. As if these things only happen to us; our hardships are unique to us. The 'Why Me' mentality. But as I am getting older (and I feel I am actually getting to a happier part of my life because I am embracing life and my place here, in this life, on this planet) I realize that everyone has to deal with the not-so-good realities that come with living. No one is exempt; everyone has some kind of challenge.
(An aside - This last sentence leads me to digress for a moment. My last blog was about meeting people and if it was impactive to our lives on a whole (I had met an inspiring young man, while shopping at Target, who has had quite the hard life due to rheumatoid arthritis and other health issues). As my friend Pam commented on, she believes that everyone does make their mark on us and have a purpose. Which leads me to remembering my last job where I worked with a group of introverts. Understand that this is not me calling them introverts, this is what they will very strongly declare themselves. As I was struggling with whether I fit in with this group or not, I looked up extrovert and introvert definitions. Basically I concluded that I am truly a mixture of both. I am introverted in the sense that I prefer small intimate gatherings versus very large gatherings. I am extroverted in that I am an external processor. I do better when I can talk through things; it gets them out of my head, allowing me to think deeper and finish the thought and/or solve the problem (writing is also cathartic for the same reason). In one of the definitions of introvert I read, it said that introverts get energized by being alone. They internally process things and are motivated by that. If I were to be left alone with my thoughts, with no one to talk to (or to write the thoughts out), I would drive myself crazy. The thoughts just circle in my head and do not resolve. I end up exhausting myself and subsequently need a nap. (I LOVE naps by the way! And there is evidence that they are good for you. Yay!)
Okay - back to my main subject. As an adult, I am realizing that everyone (that has ever existed) has to deal with the realities of life. There are illnesses and injuries and deaths and money issues and getting along issues (ie. conflict with family or friends). Mind you, I don't mean this to dwell only on the negative, as I realize that everyone also experiences all of the good things - love, laughter, vacations, births, gifts, great food, etc. It is just that the worrier in me, perhaps, somehow finds solace in the fact that this has all been done before. That old adage "Misery loves company". Perhaps this is my 'Blue Period' like Picasso's. I feel my mid-life crisis started when I was 39 and a friend's husband and a neighbor of mine (separate people) passed away from cancer only one month apart. It terrified me that seemingly very healthy people (and relatively young people) could die of cancer so horribly. And then my panic came back or re-surged from 20 years prior and then joint pain descended on me. I have really been looking deeply at life for the past two years - but now I am finally getting over the uphill struggle and am coming to a better place. I am aware that I was born at this time period and that this is my time here on earth, right now. I have the right to be here - just like everyone else; and it is up to me whether or not I live it to the fullest.
I have also had several people (ranging from a holistic doctor to a masseuse) make the statement to me that "Everyone dies" when I get in the mode of stressing over the deaths of those close to me. Yes - I know - absolutely ground breaking! But, ironically, it is a calming statement in the time of a freak out. It is a fact of life that we need to embrace and if nothing else, try to enjoy our years of living as much as we can. I actually have to tell you this quick exchange that Pam and I had during one of our deep philosophical chats. I was stressed over a stat I had read that 1 out of 2 people will die of cancer. And Pam leaned toward me and emphatically said "Oh yea - well 1 out of 1 people will DIE". Ain't that the truth! And that crazy, simplistic, realistic statement was all it took to make me laugh out loud and stop stressing over life (at least for that moment in time).
Existentially Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
I am happy to say that I have come across several quotes that I felt were appropo to this blog entry. And I am even more thrilled to say that one of my goals for this blog (which was to have others share their motivational moments) has come to pass. A good friend of mine read my entries for the first time and forwarded me some of her favorite quotes - which of course I loved!
An absolutely profound quote; Corrie ten Boom has an amazing life story!!
2. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” ~ Matthew 6:27
3. "Some women go through life turning on lamps in the evening. Others are themselves a light." Helen Perkes
This one motivates me to want to be that light!
4. "Don’t allow the stuff of life to obscure the light that shines from within you. Share your illumination; brighten the day of another." Dr. Terry Gordon
5. "One never notices what has been done, one can only see what remains to be done." Marie Curie
My friend forwarded this quote to me referring to my blog on clutter. I love it; it is so true. I have since tried - when, at the end of the day, I am stressed with what I have yet to do - to look back and appreciate what I have done! What I also loved was the statement my friend made about the quote: "Pretty profound for someone who poisoned herself studying radiation and died a horrible death." One of life's ironies (and so fitting for this entry).
6. "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth." Picasso 1923
I found this quote on another Picasso painting at that same Art Museum exhibit (which started the musings for this blog entry). How appropriately it fit in with my philosophical thoughts that day.
All of these quotes on worrying and life's stresses just reinforces my entire point of this entry: We all have burdens; it's all been done before; and we are all in this together!!
I wish you all a life of not only being a light to others, but being your own light from within.
As a child (hopefully), we are blissfully unaware of all the realities of the world (ie. divorce, cancer, deaths, etc.). A child still feels the magical-ness of life. Play-dates, birthday parties, vacations, amusement parks, dreaming about finding your true love and living happily ever after. I was (and of course still am) a lover of romance novels and romantic comedies. They are filled with laughter and love and promise a life of happiness. Ahhh - if only life were that simple.
Seeing Picasso's painting, La Vie, which is about the suicide of his friend after being rejected by a lover (and perhaps was the start of Picasso's battle with depression, his "Blue Period"), made me realize that everything we are going through, has been experienced before us. As children, we are basically ego-centric. Life is all about us. We don't yet have the capacity to think of others (which is a good thing in my opinion, since life can be so challenging, at times, for adults).
As adults, we have the mentality that life is unfair to us or hard for us. As if these things only happen to us; our hardships are unique to us. The 'Why Me' mentality. But as I am getting older (and I feel I am actually getting to a happier part of my life because I am embracing life and my place here, in this life, on this planet) I realize that everyone has to deal with the not-so-good realities that come with living. No one is exempt; everyone has some kind of challenge.
(An aside - This last sentence leads me to digress for a moment. My last blog was about meeting people and if it was impactive to our lives on a whole (I had met an inspiring young man, while shopping at Target, who has had quite the hard life due to rheumatoid arthritis and other health issues). As my friend Pam commented on, she believes that everyone does make their mark on us and have a purpose. Which leads me to remembering my last job where I worked with a group of introverts. Understand that this is not me calling them introverts, this is what they will very strongly declare themselves. As I was struggling with whether I fit in with this group or not, I looked up extrovert and introvert definitions. Basically I concluded that I am truly a mixture of both. I am introverted in the sense that I prefer small intimate gatherings versus very large gatherings. I am extroverted in that I am an external processor. I do better when I can talk through things; it gets them out of my head, allowing me to think deeper and finish the thought and/or solve the problem (writing is also cathartic for the same reason). In one of the definitions of introvert I read, it said that introverts get energized by being alone. They internally process things and are motivated by that. If I were to be left alone with my thoughts, with no one to talk to (or to write the thoughts out), I would drive myself crazy. The thoughts just circle in my head and do not resolve. I end up exhausting myself and subsequently need a nap. (I LOVE naps by the way! And there is evidence that they are good for you. Yay!)
Okay - back to my main subject. As an adult, I am realizing that everyone (that has ever existed) has to deal with the realities of life. There are illnesses and injuries and deaths and money issues and getting along issues (ie. conflict with family or friends). Mind you, I don't mean this to dwell only on the negative, as I realize that everyone also experiences all of the good things - love, laughter, vacations, births, gifts, great food, etc. It is just that the worrier in me, perhaps, somehow finds solace in the fact that this has all been done before. That old adage "Misery loves company". Perhaps this is my 'Blue Period' like Picasso's. I feel my mid-life crisis started when I was 39 and a friend's husband and a neighbor of mine (separate people) passed away from cancer only one month apart. It terrified me that seemingly very healthy people (and relatively young people) could die of cancer so horribly. And then my panic came back or re-surged from 20 years prior and then joint pain descended on me. I have really been looking deeply at life for the past two years - but now I am finally getting over the uphill struggle and am coming to a better place. I am aware that I was born at this time period and that this is my time here on earth, right now. I have the right to be here - just like everyone else; and it is up to me whether or not I live it to the fullest.
I have also had several people (ranging from a holistic doctor to a masseuse) make the statement to me that "Everyone dies" when I get in the mode of stressing over the deaths of those close to me. Yes - I know - absolutely ground breaking! But, ironically, it is a calming statement in the time of a freak out. It is a fact of life that we need to embrace and if nothing else, try to enjoy our years of living as much as we can. I actually have to tell you this quick exchange that Pam and I had during one of our deep philosophical chats. I was stressed over a stat I had read that 1 out of 2 people will die of cancer. And Pam leaned toward me and emphatically said "Oh yea - well 1 out of 1 people will DIE". Ain't that the truth! And that crazy, simplistic, realistic statement was all it took to make me laugh out loud and stop stressing over life (at least for that moment in time).
Existentially Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
I am happy to say that I have come across several quotes that I felt were appropo to this blog entry. And I am even more thrilled to say that one of my goals for this blog (which was to have others share their motivational moments) has come to pass. A good friend of mine read my entries for the first time and forwarded me some of her favorite quotes - which of course I loved!
1. "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." Corrie ten Boom, Dutch writer.
2. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” ~ Matthew 6:27
3. "Some women go through life turning on lamps in the evening. Others are themselves a light." Helen Perkes
This one motivates me to want to be that light!
4. "Don’t allow the stuff of life to obscure the light that shines from within you. Share your illumination; brighten the day of another." Dr. Terry Gordon
5. "One never notices what has been done, one can only see what remains to be done." Marie Curie
My friend forwarded this quote to me referring to my blog on clutter. I love it; it is so true. I have since tried - when, at the end of the day, I am stressed with what I have yet to do - to look back and appreciate what I have done! What I also loved was the statement my friend made about the quote: "Pretty profound for someone who poisoned herself studying radiation and died a horrible death." One of life's ironies (and so fitting for this entry).
6. "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth." Picasso 1923
I found this quote on another Picasso painting at that same Art Museum exhibit (which started the musings for this blog entry). How appropriately it fit in with my philosophical thoughts that day.
All of these quotes on worrying and life's stresses just reinforces my entire point of this entry: We all have burdens; it's all been done before; and we are all in this together!!
I wish you all a life of not only being a light to others, but being your own light from within.
Confessions of a Stress-a-holic
Confessions of a Stress-a-holic - not to be confused with Confessions of a Shop-a-holic.
This time of year is a dream come true for a Shop-a-holic. All the shop-til-you-drop til their hearts content. They are energized and inspired by all the shopping madness. On the converse, this crazed time of shopping is an ongoing nightmare for us Stress-a-holics!
Back in October, when I was enjoying a beautiful fall day in all its splendid glory, I told myself I was NOT going to get stressed out this holiday season! I am going to enjoy all it has to offer. It is not mere coincidence that EVERY single year - right around Christmas - I come down with a severe sinus infection. Can we say STRESS! It's not as if life isn't already crazy enough with three kids and working full time (because it SO is!), but no, at Christmas time (in fact, the many weeks leading up to it) we are deluged with not only finding time to shop, but also fitting in school parties and concerts and decorating and sending Christmas cards. Agh! Just writing all of that stresses me out! And the sad thing is that Christmas started to be overwhelming for me when I was eight months pregnant with my first pregnancy. I was tired and exhausted and protested my husband decorating the house for Christmas (maybe it was guilt because I was just too tired to help) and little did I know that this was just the beginning. I had no idea how busy and exhausted you are and how fast the days go when you have babies. It was ignorance from inexperience - which is to be expected. (That statement - 'ignorance from inexperience' - is eye opening and makes me think if everyone thought that about everyone else in the world, how much more tolerant of a world this would be. How refreshing if there was no judging of others since we haven't walked in their shoes!) Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about having children. I know a lot of people would love to have the opportunity to have kids and they are not able to for whatever reason. I am merely musing that once I had kids, I stressed myself out even more with the holidays. I think that may stem from the fact that it was so magical for me as a child and I want to make it just as magical for my kids.
But if I have learned nothing in the past couple years, it is that life goes by too fast. For some of us, it ends way too early. We have to stop and smell the flowers. We were at breakfast with Santa yesterday morning and I started to feel the impatience of having to wait in a very long line. But shame on me for not enjoying the moment; for not joking around with my family and enjoying the fact that we are all in good health and all together. And of course, when it was our turn, I absolutely loved Santa's attention to each child as well as being able to take several different pictures ourselves. I needed to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. What a waste of life otherwise. (I should tattoo this mantra on me for our upcoming family vacation!!)
A friend of mine gave me the best advice for Christmas time. And it actually came about when we were talking about Santa Claus and our kids. And she said if there wasn't the magic of Santa Claus, she would never have the energy to do what has to be done around the holidays. And as simple as that, my view of it went from a negative one to a positive one. Instead of dreading it and being grumpy, I want to look forward to it and appreciate the fact that I can have the magic live on through me for others. It was such a refreshing viewpoint, I really liked hearing it and decided right then that I was going to adopt that viewpoint!
In Hopes of Enjoying the Ride and NOT just the Destination,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Here are some quotes I came across this past week that I liked:
1. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim
- This quote is the embodiment of enjoying the ride and not waiting for the destination. I love it!
2. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. Steve Jobs
There are days when we feel that we can conquer the world and days when we feel like the world is conquering us. May more of your days be like the former rather than the latter.
This time of year is a dream come true for a Shop-a-holic. All the shop-til-you-drop til their hearts content. They are energized and inspired by all the shopping madness. On the converse, this crazed time of shopping is an ongoing nightmare for us Stress-a-holics!
Back in October, when I was enjoying a beautiful fall day in all its splendid glory, I told myself I was NOT going to get stressed out this holiday season! I am going to enjoy all it has to offer. It is not mere coincidence that EVERY single year - right around Christmas - I come down with a severe sinus infection. Can we say STRESS! It's not as if life isn't already crazy enough with three kids and working full time (because it SO is!), but no, at Christmas time (in fact, the many weeks leading up to it) we are deluged with not only finding time to shop, but also fitting in school parties and concerts and decorating and sending Christmas cards. Agh! Just writing all of that stresses me out! And the sad thing is that Christmas started to be overwhelming for me when I was eight months pregnant with my first pregnancy. I was tired and exhausted and protested my husband decorating the house for Christmas (maybe it was guilt because I was just too tired to help) and little did I know that this was just the beginning. I had no idea how busy and exhausted you are and how fast the days go when you have babies. It was ignorance from inexperience - which is to be expected. (That statement - 'ignorance from inexperience' - is eye opening and makes me think if everyone thought that about everyone else in the world, how much more tolerant of a world this would be. How refreshing if there was no judging of others since we haven't walked in their shoes!) Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about having children. I know a lot of people would love to have the opportunity to have kids and they are not able to for whatever reason. I am merely musing that once I had kids, I stressed myself out even more with the holidays. I think that may stem from the fact that it was so magical for me as a child and I want to make it just as magical for my kids.
But if I have learned nothing in the past couple years, it is that life goes by too fast. For some of us, it ends way too early. We have to stop and smell the flowers. We were at breakfast with Santa yesterday morning and I started to feel the impatience of having to wait in a very long line. But shame on me for not enjoying the moment; for not joking around with my family and enjoying the fact that we are all in good health and all together. And of course, when it was our turn, I absolutely loved Santa's attention to each child as well as being able to take several different pictures ourselves. I needed to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. What a waste of life otherwise. (I should tattoo this mantra on me for our upcoming family vacation!!)
A friend of mine gave me the best advice for Christmas time. And it actually came about when we were talking about Santa Claus and our kids. And she said if there wasn't the magic of Santa Claus, she would never have the energy to do what has to be done around the holidays. And as simple as that, my view of it went from a negative one to a positive one. Instead of dreading it and being grumpy, I want to look forward to it and appreciate the fact that I can have the magic live on through me for others. It was such a refreshing viewpoint, I really liked hearing it and decided right then that I was going to adopt that viewpoint!
In Hopes of Enjoying the Ride and NOT just the Destination,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Here are some quotes I came across this past week that I liked:
1. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim
- This quote is the embodiment of enjoying the ride and not waiting for the destination. I love it!
2. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. Steve Jobs
There are days when we feel that we can conquer the world and days when we feel like the world is conquering us. May more of your days be like the former rather than the latter.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Destiny or Just Another Day?
There are many opinions out there that say 'everyone comes into your life for a reason'. And that the people you meet affect you or make their mark on you (ie. you are changed for having met them). This is one of those deep-thoughts moments of mine. Do the people we meet by chance, affect us? Or are they mere strangers who have no lasting relevance? Do they change who we are? Is it meant to be? Is it fate? Or is it simply just another day in your life.
These 'meetings' with people sometimes make me stop and think more deeply about life - kind of the way a really meaningful quote does.
Today's deep thinking comes from a chance encounter with an employee at a local store. I happened to overhear a response to him from his supervisor over the walkie-talkie he was carrying that made me chuckle. Basically the employee had suggested to his boss that he would take his break now, thus saving his boss from having to deal with everyone wanting to go at the same time later. This initiative really pleased his boss, as it was 'the best thing (he) had heard all day'. That comment made me laugh, to which the employee looked at me and said "apparently I am doing well today!". And that's all it took - our conversation was off and running (much to the dismay of my daughters and my husband!). This was not your typical, pleasantry conversation, mind you. This was me learning about the incredibly unfortunate health issues of this young man. He was in his early 20s. He has had Crohns disease since he was a young child. The Crohns apparently has led to (I'm guessing) a rheumatoid arthritis. He has a lot of pain everyday. He has had both knees replaced and needs his shoulder replaced. He has no medical insurance because he is too much of a risk (and the irony of that just pisses me off! People who desperately need it, can't get it, but if you are healthy, they will happily take your money from you for years! I can really go on about the injustice of this, as it truly enrages me...as if the people who are suffering don't have a hard enough life already!!!)
I told this young man that I was very impressed with his bravery and his attitude about getting through this life. I also told him that I have struggled with panic attacks and anxiety since I was 20 and basically fear the type of life he is living (basically being in horrible pain, needing surgeries, etc.) and I am now 41 and other than the last year of my life (when joint pain started - which I am guessing is the start of arthritis) I have lived a darn healthy life for which I am immensely grateful. See - when you have panic - your worries tend you to be drawn to hearing about others' experiences - particularly the negative ones. With panic, you pretty much fear anything medically bad happening to you. I read the best quote about a year ago - it said "Anxiety is fear of one's self" by Wilhelm Stekel. And that is the best way to describe it. I fear anything my body does that I have no control over (ie. sickness, swelling, pain, etc.) I fear my fast heartbeats (will I pass out or just drop dead). I fear my acid reflux (esophageal cancer - of course). I fear debilitating arthritis pain in my joints (pain...speaks for itself). I fear dental work going to the extreme...etc.
So again - back to my musings over meeting this amazing young man. Was it to give me hope? Was it to cause me worry? Was it to wish him the best and make his day a little brighter? Or was it merely just a few minutes of my day with a stranger and nothing more lasting than that? I do not know the answer to these questions. All I do know is that this was an incredibly strong and brave human being, all the more impressive considering his age as well as his difficult life experience thus far. I truly do wish him the best!
In Hopes of Healing,
Me
P.S. Here is yet another serendipitous quote that was sent to my email by Dr. Terry Gordon's daily affirmations:
“Every single being, even those who are hostile to us, is just as afraid of suffering as we are, and seeks happiness in the same way we do. Every person has the same right as we do to be happy and not to suffer. So let's take care of others wholeheartedly, of both our friends and our enemies. This is the basis for true compassion.” ~ The Dalai Lama
My wish for you: have compassion for others and peace within yourself. Be well my friends.
These 'meetings' with people sometimes make me stop and think more deeply about life - kind of the way a really meaningful quote does.
Today's deep thinking comes from a chance encounter with an employee at a local store. I happened to overhear a response to him from his supervisor over the walkie-talkie he was carrying that made me chuckle. Basically the employee had suggested to his boss that he would take his break now, thus saving his boss from having to deal with everyone wanting to go at the same time later. This initiative really pleased his boss, as it was 'the best thing (he) had heard all day'. That comment made me laugh, to which the employee looked at me and said "apparently I am doing well today!". And that's all it took - our conversation was off and running (much to the dismay of my daughters and my husband!). This was not your typical, pleasantry conversation, mind you. This was me learning about the incredibly unfortunate health issues of this young man. He was in his early 20s. He has had Crohns disease since he was a young child. The Crohns apparently has led to (I'm guessing) a rheumatoid arthritis. He has a lot of pain everyday. He has had both knees replaced and needs his shoulder replaced. He has no medical insurance because he is too much of a risk (and the irony of that just pisses me off! People who desperately need it, can't get it, but if you are healthy, they will happily take your money from you for years! I can really go on about the injustice of this, as it truly enrages me...as if the people who are suffering don't have a hard enough life already!!!)
I told this young man that I was very impressed with his bravery and his attitude about getting through this life. I also told him that I have struggled with panic attacks and anxiety since I was 20 and basically fear the type of life he is living (basically being in horrible pain, needing surgeries, etc.) and I am now 41 and other than the last year of my life (when joint pain started - which I am guessing is the start of arthritis) I have lived a darn healthy life for which I am immensely grateful. See - when you have panic - your worries tend you to be drawn to hearing about others' experiences - particularly the negative ones. With panic, you pretty much fear anything medically bad happening to you. I read the best quote about a year ago - it said "Anxiety is fear of one's self" by Wilhelm Stekel. And that is the best way to describe it. I fear anything my body does that I have no control over (ie. sickness, swelling, pain, etc.) I fear my fast heartbeats (will I pass out or just drop dead). I fear my acid reflux (esophageal cancer - of course). I fear debilitating arthritis pain in my joints (pain...speaks for itself). I fear dental work going to the extreme...etc.
So again - back to my musings over meeting this amazing young man. Was it to give me hope? Was it to cause me worry? Was it to wish him the best and make his day a little brighter? Or was it merely just a few minutes of my day with a stranger and nothing more lasting than that? I do not know the answer to these questions. All I do know is that this was an incredibly strong and brave human being, all the more impressive considering his age as well as his difficult life experience thus far. I truly do wish him the best!
In Hopes of Healing,
Me
P.S. Here is yet another serendipitous quote that was sent to my email by Dr. Terry Gordon's daily affirmations:
“Every single being, even those who are hostile to us, is just as afraid of suffering as we are, and seeks happiness in the same way we do. Every person has the same right as we do to be happy and not to suffer. So let's take care of others wholeheartedly, of both our friends and our enemies. This is the basis for true compassion.” ~ The Dalai Lama
My wish for you: have compassion for others and peace within yourself. Be well my friends.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Back to School Madness (aka Procrastination at its Best!)
What is it about the going-back-to-school time of year that stresses me out. (I know - what doesn't stress me out...You wouldn't believe how many people say that to me, by the way. Ha! As if I didn't already know that I am a stress freak.) But seriously, does anyone else experience this phenomena? I understand that it means going back to a very set schedule with the juggling of homework, dance classes, sports, etc., as well as the added morning stress of catching the bus (always an adventure!). But my issue has more to do with the pressure I put on myself to get my house in order before the start of the school year.
Today is the day before my kids return to school and ideally it would have been a relaxing day with the kids - doing something fun for them before they return to the rigid school routine for another year. But did I do this? Of course not. I spent the first half of my day stressing myself (and them) out so completely that one would think today was the last day to get all my things in order. Ever. I am once again returning to the topic of the cluttered chaos that is my house. I was determined that my house would be in perfect shape prior to the commencement of the school year. Did I succeed? No, I failed. Miserably. Did I set myself up for failure. Of course. (Hey - kudos to me for high expectations though!) :)
As I was driving away from my house at 2pm, in a determined effort to give my kids some enjoyment this last day (we went to a local waterfall and got ice cream...yay me! Some redemption!), I was thinking that I have no one to blame but myself. And I think the problem comes from being a procrastinator. I have realized that I need deadlines to motivate me to get things done. A recurrent theme of mine is that I have way too much clutter in my house. It drives me - and my husband - crazy. In fact there are books written on how clutter is bad for your state of mind; you simply can't relax in an area that has clutter everywhere. (In fact, isn't that what the entire idea is behind Feng Shui?! And look at how popular that is!)
So apparently, I needed the start of the school year to give me the jump start on cleaning up some of this clutter. The unfortunate aspect of this is that I only reacted the DAY before school starts. Too bad I couldn't have felt motivated the MONTH before school starts. (I need to work on my procrastination skills motivating me earlier before a deadline!!)
Alas, baby steps are better than no steps at all. Keep the Faith!
In High Hopes of Feng Shui,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it's dark. ~Zen Proverb
Hmmmm...gotta love these Zen moments. They are so deep. So this is saying that I get in my own way of decluttering my house. Ya think? OR perhaps, I could look at it another way:
To thine own self be true. ~Shakespeare
Life is short. Treasure time with family and friends!
Today is the day before my kids return to school and ideally it would have been a relaxing day with the kids - doing something fun for them before they return to the rigid school routine for another year. But did I do this? Of course not. I spent the first half of my day stressing myself (and them) out so completely that one would think today was the last day to get all my things in order. Ever. I am once again returning to the topic of the cluttered chaos that is my house. I was determined that my house would be in perfect shape prior to the commencement of the school year. Did I succeed? No, I failed. Miserably. Did I set myself up for failure. Of course. (Hey - kudos to me for high expectations though!) :)
As I was driving away from my house at 2pm, in a determined effort to give my kids some enjoyment this last day (we went to a local waterfall and got ice cream...yay me! Some redemption!), I was thinking that I have no one to blame but myself. And I think the problem comes from being a procrastinator. I have realized that I need deadlines to motivate me to get things done. A recurrent theme of mine is that I have way too much clutter in my house. It drives me - and my husband - crazy. In fact there are books written on how clutter is bad for your state of mind; you simply can't relax in an area that has clutter everywhere. (In fact, isn't that what the entire idea is behind Feng Shui?! And look at how popular that is!)
So apparently, I needed the start of the school year to give me the jump start on cleaning up some of this clutter. The unfortunate aspect of this is that I only reacted the DAY before school starts. Too bad I couldn't have felt motivated the MONTH before school starts. (I need to work on my procrastination skills motivating me earlier before a deadline!!)
Alas, baby steps are better than no steps at all. Keep the Faith!
In High Hopes of Feng Shui,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it's dark. ~Zen Proverb
Hmmmm...gotta love these Zen moments. They are so deep. So this is saying that I get in my own way of decluttering my house. Ya think? OR perhaps, I could look at it another way:
To thine own self be true. ~Shakespeare
Life is short. Treasure time with family and friends!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Domestic Goddess Envy
What is it about never having enough hours in the day?! What is the deal? It is not freaking Rocket Science for crying out loud! It is "time" and we all have the same amount of time in a day.
So I have decided that it must be me. I mean, there are some people who seem to have it SO together! These are the people who, should you happen to stop over their house unannounced, you would find it clutter-free and "ready for entertainment". These people are also the ones who are able to sit out on their porch or deck in the evening, just relaxing and hanging out. I have tried telling myself that I need to make an "appointment" so I can sit out and enjoy the beautiful weather every evening (since winter here lasts like 6 months and there is no relaxing happening sitting out in the freezing cold. Brrrr!). And yet I never seem to find the "TIME". UGH!
Perhaps it could have something to do with the fact that I am not a Domestic Goddess. As much as I would love to be! I want the perfect-ordered house, with the perfect meals, and with time to enjoy the evening with my family and friends. Maybe I lack the gene. I mean, if you stopped by my house unannounced, you would see "clutter" EVERYWHERE!! We are not talking like one counter or table or even one room for Pete's Sake! (Who IS Pete by the way? And why do we always talk about his sake? Sorry...I digress.)
It just seems like I ALWAYS have dishes to do or laundry. Ha! Laundry - now there's a topic. I mean we ALL wear clothes. Everyone has to do laundry. Maybe it is in my DNA that I 'should have' been born rich. Maybe that's the problem. Because one would think that it truly is a fact of life and one would be accepting of the reality and just do it. All the time. Nope - not me...I am like "How could there possibly be more laundry to do?! It is ALL I ever do". Well - apparently it is not ALL I ever do, or I wouldn't have baskets of it waiting for me now. That and the fact that I live in a household with five people. Hellooo - reality is knocking...time to go do some laundry...
In Hopes of Finding Time,
Me
Motivational Moment:
So I found it ironic that, as I was on my way to sit at my computer and type this entry, I came across two quotes that directly related to this topic (which also tells me that I am not alone in my lack of Domestic Goddess stature!). How cool is that. I did not have to search for them, they literally fell into my lap this morning. I love serendipitous moments like that!!
1. "I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours." ~Bernard Berenson
This quote was delivered to my email from a daily affirmation from Dr. Terry Gordon's website. As stated in my first blog, I love all things motivational - including daily affirmations. I recently heard about Dr. Terry Gordon and decided to check out his website. He is a cardiologist who experienced a family tragedy; he has a very inspirational life story.
2. "Unplug. We often rate our days by what we've accomplished, applauding ourselves for a workout logged, an errand completed, a task crossed off. But consider grading today on a new curve: Give yourself credit not for doing but simply for being - for taking time to sit alone, listening, daydreaming, creating space to think. Only then can you connect with the most important person in your world: yourself." SELF Magazine, August 2012
See there! I can't do laundry now! I must go sit in the back yard and relax and daydream!
*Sigh* If only I had the time...
So I have decided that it must be me. I mean, there are some people who seem to have it SO together! These are the people who, should you happen to stop over their house unannounced, you would find it clutter-free and "ready for entertainment". These people are also the ones who are able to sit out on their porch or deck in the evening, just relaxing and hanging out. I have tried telling myself that I need to make an "appointment" so I can sit out and enjoy the beautiful weather every evening (since winter here lasts like 6 months and there is no relaxing happening sitting out in the freezing cold. Brrrr!). And yet I never seem to find the "TIME". UGH!
Perhaps it could have something to do with the fact that I am not a Domestic Goddess. As much as I would love to be! I want the perfect-ordered house, with the perfect meals, and with time to enjoy the evening with my family and friends. Maybe I lack the gene. I mean, if you stopped by my house unannounced, you would see "clutter" EVERYWHERE!! We are not talking like one counter or table or even one room for Pete's Sake! (Who IS Pete by the way? And why do we always talk about his sake? Sorry...I digress.)
It just seems like I ALWAYS have dishes to do or laundry. Ha! Laundry - now there's a topic. I mean we ALL wear clothes. Everyone has to do laundry. Maybe it is in my DNA that I 'should have' been born rich. Maybe that's the problem. Because one would think that it truly is a fact of life and one would be accepting of the reality and just do it. All the time. Nope - not me...I am like "How could there possibly be more laundry to do?! It is ALL I ever do". Well - apparently it is not ALL I ever do, or I wouldn't have baskets of it waiting for me now. That and the fact that I live in a household with five people. Hellooo - reality is knocking...time to go do some laundry...
In Hopes of Finding Time,
Me
Motivational Moment:
So I found it ironic that, as I was on my way to sit at my computer and type this entry, I came across two quotes that directly related to this topic (which also tells me that I am not alone in my lack of Domestic Goddess stature!). How cool is that. I did not have to search for them, they literally fell into my lap this morning. I love serendipitous moments like that!!
1. "I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours." ~Bernard Berenson
This quote was delivered to my email from a daily affirmation from Dr. Terry Gordon's website. As stated in my first blog, I love all things motivational - including daily affirmations. I recently heard about Dr. Terry Gordon and decided to check out his website. He is a cardiologist who experienced a family tragedy; he has a very inspirational life story.
2. "Unplug. We often rate our days by what we've accomplished, applauding ourselves for a workout logged, an errand completed, a task crossed off. But consider grading today on a new curve: Give yourself credit not for doing but simply for being - for taking time to sit alone, listening, daydreaming, creating space to think. Only then can you connect with the most important person in your world: yourself." SELF Magazine, August 2012
See there! I can't do laundry now! I must go sit in the back yard and relax and daydream!
*Sigh* If only I had the time...
Saturday, August 18, 2012
My First Blog Entry! Yay!
Welcome to my very first blog post! WooHoo! I am sure you are as excited as I!
As this is my maiden blog (HA! Like maiden voyage! Get it? Although hopefully this will not have the same ill-fate as that other well-know maiden voyage..Yikes - not a good reference...).
As you can probably tell, my blog writing will most likely be somewhat of a stream of consciousness...almost like a talking dialogue.
To describe myself, you can actually think the exact opposite of a Serenity Goddess. More like an Anxious Freak. In fact - that was my initial thought for my blog title...Anxious Freak. I tend to be quite an accomplished worrier, such that I was thinking of writing a book titled: "A million ways to die...at least in my head" or "A million ways to die...or just another day in my life" . Such is the life of a worrier/ panic attacker. Life is never dull!
Here a some of the names I was thinking of for my blog (most of which were already taken):
1. Anxious Freak (so me!)
2. Stress Maven, Stress Goddess (Thank you Pammy for some of these ideas!)
3. Mellow Mama (Thank you Trace for your support of my goal!)
4. Seeking Serenity, Serenity Diva, Serenity Now, Breathe Serenity (all taken)
5. Just Chill, Just Relax Already, Just Breathe, Don't Worry Be Happy (all taken)
6. F$#@ You, I'm dying (This would be Nick's suggestion. I love that off-beat humor of his.)
7. Storm and Sunshine, Anxious Serenity (to show where I am and where I crave to be...)
But then I tried to see the bigger picture, and think about what I would like this blog to become down the road. (My sister - Ker Ber - would be so proud because she is all about the 5 year plan and such!) Hence, I would like this blog to eventually be a source of all things motivation (such as books or quotes or music or beautiful pictures). Any or all things relaxing to us stressed out souls (but then again - it might just be musings of life from a stress freak!).
A little more about myself for this maiden blog: I am a wife and mother of three. My husband and I both work full time. Household chores and clutter seem endless (I foresee so many blog topics there...). I crave all things relaxing...such as relaxation massages (Debbie - you ROCK!!), sitting on a secluded beach (under an umbrella of course), sitting in front of a fire, curling up with a good romance novel, NAPPING (Mmmmm...I LOVE napping!), etc.
My thoughts for this blog are to write about my life experiences as well as philosophical musings, with the main purpose being to make you laugh with my sarcastic and self-deprecating viewpoint (or at the very least make you feel better about your life since you don't live in my brain) as well as to offer some motivational / inspirational / relaxational (ok - this last one is not really a word but it sure fit well) references.
For example, I love motivational quotes. I will read or hear something, and I will be like "Oooo - that is deep! I need to really do that or live that way." It's like every inspirational quote I come across is supposed to change my life because I read it (IF ONLY it were that easy!!)...hmmmm - this could be a blog entry all on its own...
Alright - that is enough for my Maiden Blog. I wish you all a good day.
In Hopes of Serenity,
Me.
Acknowledgements (ooooh - it's like I am an accomplished book writer...I have always thought about what I would say...):
To Pammy! My inspiration and 'push' to do this blog (she came up with the title) and, even more importantly, she was my example and my supporter to leave a job I had been in for a long time but was not a good fit and was horribly stressful. I love you girl! Thanks for being you! (Pammy is a maniacal - uh I mean AVID - bicyclist. Check out her blogspot - Cyclophiliac!!)
To my momma! She is an amazing woman who seems to have endless energy to help out others all the time. Without her, I am not sure how I would have gotten thru my first ten years of motherhood, let alone my entire life.
To my sister Kat! You are such a cool Kat. Thanks so much for always being such a great listener. (Kat is to shopping like Pam is to bicycling! In fact, she loves shopping so much she got a part-time job at one of her favorite stores - Bath and Body Works. Love their foam hand soap!! And my kids and I get to benefit often from her shopping prowess! Yay us!)
To my sister Ker Ber! Ker and I are kindred souls when it comes to seeking peace and happiness in this life. Ker is an amazingly strong woman who has conquered a full marathon, is an attorney, and is a strong believer that we all have good souls within us, we just may have to work to bring out the best in ourselves. Ker and I have all kinds of dreams for an inspirational tea/card shop!
To my beautiful daughters who bring so much love and laughter into my life. You are all special in your own way. My wish for you is that you enjoy your lives no matter what you do or who you are with. We only get one chance at this life of ours and it is too short to waste it in misery. Only be with those whom add happiness to your life; for it is up to you - and only you - if you allow others to dampen your spirits. Soar my girls!
Last, but certainly not least, to my husband who has to, on a daily basis, hear the constant worries that are on my mind. Thank you for being here with me on this journey. You are a wonderful dad. I love you!
I could truly go on with thanking so many more people - friends and family - who are wonderful and have helped me throughout my life..but alas, I don't want to drag this maiden voyage on forever! :)
I am not sure if I will always be able to do this - but I sure like the thought of ending my blog entries with some type of motivational reference.
Today's is a song (yes Pammy - a sappy song) and a local photographer:
1. Song: I came across a YouTube link for a mash up song of As Long As You Love Me (Backstreet Boys and Justin Bieber Medley) sung by Michael Henry and Justin Robinett. It is soothingly soul-ful and I love it.
2. Photographer: C.W. Banfield. He had a booth at a local summer art festival and I thought his photographs were absolutely beautiful. See for yourself at his website: The Wilderness Gallery.
As this is my maiden blog (HA! Like maiden voyage! Get it? Although hopefully this will not have the same ill-fate as that other well-know maiden voyage..Yikes - not a good reference...).
As you can probably tell, my blog writing will most likely be somewhat of a stream of consciousness...almost like a talking dialogue.
To describe myself, you can actually think the exact opposite of a Serenity Goddess. More like an Anxious Freak. In fact - that was my initial thought for my blog title...Anxious Freak. I tend to be quite an accomplished worrier, such that I was thinking of writing a book titled: "A million ways to die...at least in my head" or "A million ways to die...or just another day in my life" . Such is the life of a worrier/ panic attacker. Life is never dull!
Here a some of the names I was thinking of for my blog (most of which were already taken):
1. Anxious Freak (so me!)
2. Stress Maven, Stress Goddess (Thank you Pammy for some of these ideas!)
3. Mellow Mama (Thank you Trace for your support of my goal!)
4. Seeking Serenity, Serenity Diva, Serenity Now, Breathe Serenity (all taken)
5. Just Chill, Just Relax Already, Just Breathe, Don't Worry Be Happy (all taken)
6. F$#@ You, I'm dying (This would be Nick's suggestion. I love that off-beat humor of his.)
7. Storm and Sunshine, Anxious Serenity (to show where I am and where I crave to be...)
But then I tried to see the bigger picture, and think about what I would like this blog to become down the road. (My sister - Ker Ber - would be so proud because she is all about the 5 year plan and such!) Hence, I would like this blog to eventually be a source of all things motivation (such as books or quotes or music or beautiful pictures). Any or all things relaxing to us stressed out souls (but then again - it might just be musings of life from a stress freak!).
A little more about myself for this maiden blog: I am a wife and mother of three. My husband and I both work full time. Household chores and clutter seem endless (I foresee so many blog topics there...). I crave all things relaxing...such as relaxation massages (Debbie - you ROCK!!), sitting on a secluded beach (under an umbrella of course), sitting in front of a fire, curling up with a good romance novel, NAPPING (Mmmmm...I LOVE napping!), etc.
My thoughts for this blog are to write about my life experiences as well as philosophical musings, with the main purpose being to make you laugh with my sarcastic and self-deprecating viewpoint (or at the very least make you feel better about your life since you don't live in my brain) as well as to offer some motivational / inspirational / relaxational (ok - this last one is not really a word but it sure fit well) references.
For example, I love motivational quotes. I will read or hear something, and I will be like "Oooo - that is deep! I need to really do that or live that way." It's like every inspirational quote I come across is supposed to change my life because I read it (IF ONLY it were that easy!!)...hmmmm - this could be a blog entry all on its own...
Alright - that is enough for my Maiden Blog. I wish you all a good day.
In Hopes of Serenity,
Me.
Acknowledgements (ooooh - it's like I am an accomplished book writer...I have always thought about what I would say...):
To Pammy! My inspiration and 'push' to do this blog (she came up with the title) and, even more importantly, she was my example and my supporter to leave a job I had been in for a long time but was not a good fit and was horribly stressful. I love you girl! Thanks for being you! (Pammy is a maniacal - uh I mean AVID - bicyclist. Check out her blogspot - Cyclophiliac!!)
To my momma! She is an amazing woman who seems to have endless energy to help out others all the time. Without her, I am not sure how I would have gotten thru my first ten years of motherhood, let alone my entire life.
To my sister Kat! You are such a cool Kat. Thanks so much for always being such a great listener. (Kat is to shopping like Pam is to bicycling! In fact, she loves shopping so much she got a part-time job at one of her favorite stores - Bath and Body Works. Love their foam hand soap!! And my kids and I get to benefit often from her shopping prowess! Yay us!)
To my sister Ker Ber! Ker and I are kindred souls when it comes to seeking peace and happiness in this life. Ker is an amazingly strong woman who has conquered a full marathon, is an attorney, and is a strong believer that we all have good souls within us, we just may have to work to bring out the best in ourselves. Ker and I have all kinds of dreams for an inspirational tea/card shop!
To my beautiful daughters who bring so much love and laughter into my life. You are all special in your own way. My wish for you is that you enjoy your lives no matter what you do or who you are with. We only get one chance at this life of ours and it is too short to waste it in misery. Only be with those whom add happiness to your life; for it is up to you - and only you - if you allow others to dampen your spirits. Soar my girls!
Last, but certainly not least, to my husband who has to, on a daily basis, hear the constant worries that are on my mind. Thank you for being here with me on this journey. You are a wonderful dad. I love you!
I could truly go on with thanking so many more people - friends and family - who are wonderful and have helped me throughout my life..but alas, I don't want to drag this maiden voyage on forever! :)
I am not sure if I will always be able to do this - but I sure like the thought of ending my blog entries with some type of motivational reference.
Today's is a song (yes Pammy - a sappy song) and a local photographer:
1. Song: I came across a YouTube link for a mash up song of As Long As You Love Me (Backstreet Boys and Justin Bieber Medley) sung by Michael Henry and Justin Robinett. It is soothingly soul-ful and I love it.
2. Photographer: C.W. Banfield. He had a booth at a local summer art festival and I thought his photographs were absolutely beautiful. See for yourself at his website: The Wilderness Gallery.
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