As a child (hopefully), we are blissfully unaware of all the realities of the world (ie. divorce, cancer, deaths, etc.). A child still feels the magical-ness of life. Play-dates, birthday parties, vacations, amusement parks, dreaming about finding your true love and living happily ever after. I was (and of course still am) a lover of romance novels and romantic comedies. They are filled with laughter and love and promise a life of happiness. Ahhh - if only life were that simple.
Seeing Picasso's painting, La Vie, which is about the suicide of his friend after being rejected by a lover (and perhaps was the start of Picasso's battle with depression, his "Blue Period"), made me realize that everything we are going through, has been experienced before us. As children, we are basically ego-centric. Life is all about us. We don't yet have the capacity to think of others (which is a good thing in my opinion, since life can be so challenging, at times, for adults).
As adults, we have the mentality that life is unfair to us or hard for us. As if these things only happen to us; our hardships are unique to us. The 'Why Me' mentality. But as I am getting older (and I feel I am actually getting to a happier part of my life because I am embracing life and my place here, in this life, on this planet) I realize that everyone has to deal with the not-so-good realities that come with living. No one is exempt; everyone has some kind of challenge.
(An aside - This last sentence leads me to digress for a moment. My last blog was about meeting people and if it was impactive to our lives on a whole (I had met an inspiring young man, while shopping at Target, who has had quite the hard life due to rheumatoid arthritis and other health issues). As my friend Pam commented on, she believes that everyone does make their mark on us and have a purpose. Which leads me to remembering my last job where I worked with a group of introverts. Understand that this is not me calling them introverts, this is what they will very strongly declare themselves. As I was struggling with whether I fit in with this group or not, I looked up extrovert and introvert definitions. Basically I concluded that I am truly a mixture of both. I am introverted in the sense that I prefer small intimate gatherings versus very large gatherings. I am extroverted in that I am an external processor. I do better when I can talk through things; it gets them out of my head, allowing me to think deeper and finish the thought and/or solve the problem (writing is also cathartic for the same reason). In one of the definitions of introvert I read, it said that introverts get energized by being alone. They internally process things and are motivated by that. If I were to be left alone with my thoughts, with no one to talk to (or to write the thoughts out), I would drive myself crazy. The thoughts just circle in my head and do not resolve. I end up exhausting myself and subsequently need a nap. (I LOVE naps by the way! And there is evidence that they are good for you. Yay!)
Okay - back to my main subject. As an adult, I am realizing that everyone (that has ever existed) has to deal with the realities of life. There are illnesses and injuries and deaths and money issues and getting along issues (ie. conflict with family or friends). Mind you, I don't mean this to dwell only on the negative, as I realize that everyone also experiences all of the good things - love, laughter, vacations, births, gifts, great food, etc. It is just that the worrier in me, perhaps, somehow finds solace in the fact that this has all been done before. That old adage "Misery loves company". Perhaps this is my 'Blue Period' like Picasso's. I feel my mid-life crisis started when I was 39 and a friend's husband and a neighbor of mine (separate people) passed away from cancer only one month apart. It terrified me that seemingly very healthy people (and relatively young people) could die of cancer so horribly. And then my panic came back or re-surged from 20 years prior and then joint pain descended on me. I have really been looking deeply at life for the past two years - but now I am finally getting over the uphill struggle and am coming to a better place. I am aware that I was born at this time period and that this is my time here on earth, right now. I have the right to be here - just like everyone else; and it is up to me whether or not I live it to the fullest.
I have also had several people (ranging from a holistic doctor to a masseuse) make the statement to me that "Everyone dies" when I get in the mode of stressing over the deaths of those close to me. Yes - I know - absolutely ground breaking! But, ironically, it is a calming statement in the time of a freak out. It is a fact of life that we need to embrace and if nothing else, try to enjoy our years of living as much as we can. I actually have to tell you this quick exchange that Pam and I had during one of our deep philosophical chats. I was stressed over a stat I had read that 1 out of 2 people will die of cancer. And Pam leaned toward me and emphatically said "Oh yea - well 1 out of 1 people will DIE". Ain't that the truth! And that crazy, simplistic, realistic statement was all it took to make me laugh out loud and stop stressing over life (at least for that moment in time).
Existentially Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
I am happy to say that I have come across several quotes that I felt were appropo to this blog entry. And I am even more thrilled to say that one of my goals for this blog (which was to have others share their motivational moments) has come to pass. A good friend of mine read my entries for the first time and forwarded me some of her favorite quotes - which of course I loved!
1. "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." Corrie ten Boom, Dutch writer.
2. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” ~ Matthew 6:27
3. "Some women go through life turning on lamps in the evening. Others are themselves a light." Helen Perkes
This one motivates me to want to be that light!
4. "Don’t allow the stuff of life to obscure the light that shines from within you. Share your illumination; brighten the day of another." Dr. Terry Gordon
5. "One never notices what has been done, one can only see what remains to be done." Marie Curie
My friend forwarded this quote to me referring to my blog on clutter. I love it; it is so true. I have since tried - when, at the end of the day, I am stressed with what I have yet to do - to look back and appreciate what I have done! What I also loved was the statement my friend made about the quote: "Pretty profound for someone who poisoned herself studying radiation and died a horrible death." One of life's ironies (and so fitting for this entry).
6. "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth." Picasso 1923
I found this quote on another Picasso painting at that same Art Museum exhibit (which started the musings for this blog entry). How appropriately it fit in with my philosophical thoughts that day.
All of these quotes on worrying and life's stresses just reinforces my entire point of this entry: We all have burdens; it's all been done before; and we are all in this together!!
I wish you all a life of not only being a light to others, but being your own light from within.
Gosh, and I thought Picasso was just an overly self-centered painter with bad eyesight. Har!
ReplyDeleteLove ya, Kel!
--Pammy