Be Nice!

We are ‘supposed’ to celebrate the differences in people.  Viva La Différence.  Variety is the Spice of Life.  And I get it; the differences between people are what keeps the world going and makes life exciting.  If we were all clones, life would be incredibly dull.  But what I will never understand is unfriendly people and I downright dislike nasty, mean people.  The ‘experts’ say that you are supposed to be your own oasis and not let others get to you; however, as a friendly, outgoing person, I do feel slighted or hurt by others’ unfriendly actions. 

Let me paint a picture for you and you tell me if it is normal, human behavior. You are walking down a hallway at work (mind you, this is at a relatively small business office with ~ 50 people) and you come face to face with someone, to which you automatically greet the person with a “Good Morning”.  The other person merely looks down and keeps on walking, with no acknowledgement whatsoever. 

Now I could understand having the point of view of not wanting to be friendly to strangers, if you are out in public.  And I know that people will fight for the introverts here, saying only the extroverts are outwardly friendly.  But in a small office work setting…where you are every weekday…with a relatively small group of people…seriously?  I will truly never get it.  In fact, I can honestly say that I have had friendlier encounters when passing a stranger out in public. 

I often wonder how these people get along in life.  Maybe they are able operate by just depending on themselves, being centered within themselves, not needing or caring about others.  But I have problems with this theory.  For one reason, the majority of these people have families: parents, significant others, some even have children; in other words, they do have interactions with loved ones.  And even if they did not have any family, they would still have to interact with people for all facets of their life (grocery stores, doctors, etc.).  So all I can conclude is that they are just unfriendly people, for whatever reason.  The other reason I have a problem with this whole ‘you are your own island, your only concern is yourself,’ theory, is that the resulting world would be a very cold place to live.  Caring about others, and feeling connected to others, is what helps you get through this life.  It makes the hard times more bearable and the good times more enjoyable.

 Well, I for one, choose to be nice.  And have no doubt, it is a choice. 

Addendum: I had just finished writing this entry when I found out that a good friend of mine has ovarian cancer and has to have a complete hysterectomy in two days.  (Even more worrisome regarding this news is that she had breast cancer 3 years ago.)  This only reinforces my message:

Life is short.  Be nice.

Passionately and Compassionately Yours,

Me

Motivational Moment:

Today’s Moment is another of Life’s Little LaughablesTM:

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my husband’s family last weekend.  And one of our traditions is to have everyone name at least one thing for which they are thankful.  I like starting with the kids because it is nice to hear their thoughts.  We had the older kids (ages 8 – 13) go first so that they younger kids would have a clue as to what to do.  The older kids have been through this and knew the ‘routine’, hence they quickly mumbled the typical “friends, family, food” type of responses.  My 5 year-old niece went next and said (in her sweet little voice), “I am thankful for butterflies and friends and family.”  It was absolutely precious.   I love the sweet innocence of youth!

May you all have many things for which you are thankful. 

Perfectionism...or Not

I have a new favorite website: Huffington Post's The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power.

Today, there were three article's on their Third Metric page that were blog-spirational for me (I was so excited to think I just came up with a new word; however, when I googled it, there were many other "blog-spired" entries before me). 

The first article that caught my eye was the one on Perfectionists, since I have recently discovered I may have some perfectionist tendencies.  If you asked me a couple of years ago, I would have told you that I was not a perfectionist, but that my younger sister was absolutely one.  She HAD to have straight A's, whereas I just liked having straight A's.  She went on to become a lawyer whereas I am still undecided as to what I want to be when I grow up.  So, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I was NOT a perfectionist...that is, until I read THIS article.

Now mind you - most of the 14 items in the article are not really a good fit for me (so perhaps my perfectionist status is debatable); however a few are dead on.  For example, # 8: I take everything personally; # 9: I get really defensive when criticized; # 10: I am not quite "there yet" (hell - I don't even know where "there" is!); and # 14: I have a guilty soul (I always thought this had to do with being raised Catholic).  There were also some other comments in there about having anxiety and existential crises which perhaps I could identify with...

The ones that do not fit my personality:
# 2: "You know your drive to perfection is hurting you, but you consider it the price you pay for success."  This one mentions a 'no pain, no gain' mentality (yea...I hate pain); it also says perfectionists are not ok being average (I am fine being average - I just wish I was rich!). 
# 6: "You have a hard time opening up to other people."  Hmmm...well...not so much.  I am pretty much a tell-all, open book. 
# 12: "You take pleasure in someone else’s failure, even though it has nothing to do with you." I absolutely do not enjoy other's failures, although I am super jealous of big successes (but I think that is more an immaturity issue rather than a perfectionist issue);
# 13: "You get secretly nostalgic for your school days."  Uhhh - hell no!  I hated being in school!  All I did was study and stress myself out over getting A's!  My older sister, on the other hand, SHE is nostalgic for her college days, but that has nothing to do with academics.

The other two articles I enjoyed from today's Third Metric were: 10 Decisions Happy People Make (link) (ironically, most of these coincide with the perfectionist article - and what not to do) and 11 Reasons You Should Be Having More Orgasms (link) (you won't hear any arguments from me).  See - is this "Third Metric" a feel good website or what?!  I love it!  I could have a lot of fun commenting on (and assesing myself from) these two articles as well, but I'll save that for a rainy day.

Loving the Inspiration,
Me

Motivational Moment:

Today's Moment is another of Life’s Little LaughablesTM :

1.     Talking with Lola again at work.  This chic says classic lines on a daily basis.  We were talking about the shenanigans of some 20-somethings and she said: “They are the young and the restless; we are the old and the weary.”  True…so very true.

2.    Talking with a 20-something Engineer about gluten-free diets.  He said: “I know several females who are gluten-free, but no males.  You women really are the weaker sex.”  This comment came only a couple days after I was speaking with another male co-worker who said: “You women are a wreck!”  Ahhhh, the never ending saga of Venus versus Mars.

Today, my friends, I wish you laughter and smiles, whether that be from something you read, see, feel, or discuss.   

 

For the Love of Lip Balm!

I recently introduced a friend at work to my blog.  I loved it when he said I should blog about one of our recent conversations (about only trying to change the things at work that we had control over).  I immediately thought of what I would write; so with a smile on my face, I told him I would blog about him (just not for the reason he thought).

Today's blog is dedicated to CB.  I would have named it "Chapstick Porn", but the eternal worrier in me didn't want to offend anyone.

So, as stated above, CB is a male - a male who is in love with his lip balm.  He basically makes love to it when he puts it on.  I told him that it is just not right how he applies it; he really should only apply his lip balm in private.  But no, he loves his lip balm and is proud of it.  He happily puts it on wherever he is, even in the middle of the production floor.

In fact, the other day, we were out at a run on the floor, and he dropped his lip balm while applying it.  It rolled across the shop floor.  He picked it up, wiped off the tip, and immediately re-applied it.

Of course, any of you who know me for the germ-a-phobe that I am, knew I was horrified at witnessing his action.  I told him it should have been immediately thrown away.  At the very least, the entire plastic holder needed to be disinfected, so that the next time he twisted up the lip balm, it wouldn't go through a bacteria fiesta.  But alas, he did not listen.  I told him he might as well have just kissed the entire production floor.  Blech!!

CB - thanks for being blog-worthy.  :)

Germ-A-Phobically Yours,
Me

Motivational Moment:

This quick little moment goes to two other friends from work.  I am now calling these Life’s Little LaughablesTM:

1. My friend made a comment about my grays starting to show.  And I said: "Yep. I am done putting that toxic crap on my head."  She grabbed my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said: "Friends don't let friends go gray!".  *sigh*  My never ending battle (as evident in several different blogs) with aging gracefully.

2. I was lamenting to another friend, saying my bohemian personality just doesn't fit in at work.  Which led us to having a discussion of our wish lists of our perfect jobs.  She then said to me: "I have come to realize that there is no perfect job, just like there is no perfect man."  True words.  None of us are perfect; I am as flawed as they come; however, may we continue to search for the job that fits our personality the best and that we can enjoy the most.  Life is too short to be miserable over things that are within our control to change.

May all of you have friends who make you laugh during your day; after all, laughter is the best medicine!

And finally - a shout out to a good friend: Happy Bday B!!  Glad you were born!  :) 

Monster Trucks and Murphy's Law

Yesterday, my minivan was taken to a repair shop to fix the dent in the door that occured on last summer’s vacation (blog link).  Since the shop will have it for 6 days, I needed to get a rental car.  I was excited to hear it was going to be a Toyota Sequoia; I have always wanted one of these huge SUVs (even though I cannot afford it) because I am tall and I literally hate crawling out of small cars.  I have always found it much more enjoyable to get in and out of a SUV versus a 4-door sedan (and 2-door cars are even worse!).  However, I am used to driving mid-size SUVs, such as a Toyota Highlander or a Chevy Blazer, so I was a little surprised with just how big this puppy was.  I actually have to step up into it, rather than just sliding sideways into it, but that’s cool. 

Murphy’s Law decided to have some fun with me when I pulled it into my garage for the first time (and I know what you are thinking…but I did NOT hit the garage).  After I safely pulled it in our garage, my daughter opened her door to get out, and the big, heavy door swung wide open…right into the door of our Chevy Malibu, causing a rather noticeable dent.   *SIGH*

Being Challenged by Murphy Again,

Me

Motivational Moment: 

Today’s Motivational Moment is dedicated to the Children’s Hospital of Dartmouth Hitchcock.  Kudos sent out to the CEO for not only allowing this Katy Perry's Roar video to be made, but for participating in it as well.  Truly beautiful!

I bow down to all health care professionals for choosing a life path that helps others in such a personal, hands-on way, particularly those who work in hospitals as well as with children.  To compassionately be there for people who are feeling their worst is nothing short of inspirational.  Thank you for all that you do.  Hugs to you all!

The Challenge of Cherishing Every Moment

I know that we are supposed to cherish every moment because life is short and can end in an instant.  Even though I know this is what we are supposed to do, I find it challenging.

The past couple of weeks at work have been much busier than normal and filled with numerous challenges.  Then, on Thursday, I finally scheduled a root canal that I had literally been putting off for over a year (fear is an amazing procrastinator).  I come out of said root canal at 1:30pm and my husband calls me to tell me that his company is closing.  He has been there for 17 years.  Now mind you, I was still under the influence of a sedative (which wasn't very strong, but did the job well enough), and it still struck me as extremely sad.  I had worked there for 14 years myself and it is where my husband and I met.  Not to mention all of the close friends that still worked there.  It is the end of an institution and is pretty devastating to all who have been a part of that family.  (It says ALOT about a company when you have many workers who have been there for 10 - 30 years!).

Friday at work was no different than the past couple of weeks, and on top of the work stress, I had mouth pain from the root canal.  Despite all of that, I was still surprised how depressed I felt over the closing of my husband's company (as we had been expecting it for over a year).  I think part of the reason for my surprise, was the magnitude of the impact of the closure on me, outside of my immediate household.  For example, my brother-in-law may move out of town with his family, as well as many close friends, in order to find jobs.  (I never considered this negative aspect, when thinking about the company closing).

Friday evening, I spent time visiting a neighbor who is in the end stages of ALS.  It is an absolutely devastating illness, in which there is no cure.  It is said to be one of the worst ways to die, due to the fact that you still have your mind through it all, while you lose all of your muscles and can no longer move or talk, until finally you no longer breathe.  To make matters worse, this woman has two daughters (one is 11 and the other is 6).  I felt blessed that I made her laugh many times throughout the night, despite what she is going through.  She is an absolutely inspirational woman, who I learned, would have loved to have been a vacation planner.  I enjoyed seeing many pictures, from her family vacations, over the past several years.  My heart goes out to her, her husband, her parents, and her children.

I know from reading many books, including Dr. Terry Gordon's, that you are supposed to see tragedies as blessings.  I think this is extremely difficult to do, particularly at the time of tragedies.  Perhaps when some time passes, it is easier to see the blessings in disguise.

***On a side note, as I was typing this blog, my daughters were watching the animated movie "The Croods".  Due to the anxiety and fear I have lived with my entire life, I found the following advice from the dad in the beginning of the movie absolutely hilarious:  "Fear keeps us alive; never NOT be afraid!...No one said survival was fun...She lived her life in routine, fear, and darkness, and was happy."  Of course, the message in the movie ends up being the exact opposite of these initial statements; do not be afraid and do not spend your life in darkness.  (Very cute movie, by the way.  I highly recommend it, if you have not seen it.)***

I will end this post with the following quote from Dr. Terry Gordon and wish you all the ability to see blessings in your tragedies:

"What I have embraced is that a life’s experience becomes a tragedy, only if we make the conscious decision to make a calamity out of it. We might just as easily choose to accept encounters such at this as a gift from the Divine, a learning tool that helps propel us on to a higher path."  Dr. Terry Gordon's Link

Trying to Cherish Each Moment,
Me

Motivational Moment:

Today's Moment is to share with you a story about a brave, wonderful girl.  I came across her story by pure luck when checking out a friend's blog that contained a YouTube link.  The attached two links are the YouTube stories I watched yesterday, about a miraculous little girl named Shiloh Jade Pepin.  In her story, you will come to see what absolute beautiful people her parents and doctor are, as well as all the rest of her family, friends, and health care providers.  I thank them for sharing her story with the world and I wish them peace and love all throughout their lives.  Shiloh's Story  Shiloh's Story 2

For Her: Welcome to your 40's!

I have always felt that it is so unfair to be female, particularly every month during our fertile years.  Males NEVER have to deal with the crap of bleeding for one week out of every stinking month from middle school age until their 50s.  Apparently this ‘great divide’ in equality continues as we age.  When we finally get to the beginning of the end of these monthly pain-in-the-asses, a whole new slew of problems arise due to our hormones going away.  And when menopause becomes official, which can apparently take up to 10 years, an entirely new set of issues develop, such as brittle bones, lack of sex drive, and lubrication issues, to say the least.  Ahhhh...Life.

The following conversation occurred yesterday between my friend (who is a wonderfully laid back woman with a fabulous sense of humor) and her gynecologist:  

Doc:  So tell me what is going on with you?

Lola:  Well, one month I won’t have my period and then the next month I’ll have 2.  I am tired all of the time.  I could sleep 14 hours a day and I’m gaining weight.   

Doc:  Welcome to life in your 40s.  Tell me about your periods; do you have blood clots?

Lola:  Yes, like I’m dropping hamsters.

Doc:  Definitely sounds like your 40s.

Lola:  I have no sex drive.  My husband wants sex and I just don’t want to be bothered with such nonsense; that is 2 minutes of my life I will never get back.

Doc:  You’re perfectly normal.  I will put you on birth control pills to regulate your period.

Lola:  I was truly hoping for a pill so I would NEVER have another period again.  We can send a man to the moon and yet can’t stop my crazy periods!!   I’m 44 years old, have had my tubes tied for 10 years, I don’t have sex, and NOW I get on birth control pills.  Really.

Lola (after her appointment):  I had to get my thyroid checked, so they drew blood.  Apparently the only thing in me that doesn’t want to bleed out of control is my veins; that tiny needle hurt like hell.  So ladies welcome to your 40’s.  Life is grand.  It gets better, I am only peri-menopause now, I have 10 years before the party that is actual menopause starts.  YEAH.

Laughing Along This Journey,

Me

Motivational Moment:

May you have good friends to share laughs with as you travel along your life's journey.

For the Love of Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ever since going gluten free (GF) about a year ago, I have been on the hunt for the perfect GF chocolate chip cookie.  If you don't know, I am quite the lover of all things chocolate, including brownies and chocolate chip cookies.  One of the hardest things about going gluten free for me (besides the most obvious loss: bread) was losing a delicious brownie/cake/cookie option.  Most GF replacement flours result in a baked good that is NOT moist and delicious; the end product is more like a dry, thick substance that feels like a ball of cement in your stomach.

Hence my GF journey has involved many cookie recipes from scratch (with different replacement flours) as well as boxed mixes.  My family has (not-so-willingly) accompanied me on my journey.  In fact, my daughters have asked me: "Can't we ever have gluteny brownies or cookies?!".  One of my first GF recipes literally looked like a flat piece of paper with chocolate chips sticking out of it. It actually tasted ok, but was not aesthetically pleasing to the eye.  Apparently gluten is the 'glue' that holds breads and cookies together and makes them moist - because let me tell you - without gluten, cookies and breads just crumble apart when you pick them up. 

I am still quite the amateur at GF baking; however, I can tell you what tastes delicious and what does not.  This past week, I tried this Betty Crocker recipe and was very pleased with the results! 

 The baked cookie actually looked just like the picture on the box AND was delicious. 

I was so excited about my close-to-gluten chocolate chip cookie find, that I was, of course, inspired to blog about it.  :)

I will note that these GF cookies need to be kept in an air-tight container or else they go stale within a few days (but then again - I'm not sure that my baggie constitutes "air-tight" storage).  Oh well...the absolute best time to enjoy any cookie, whether gluteny or gluten free, is fresh from the oven (with chocolate ice cream on top!).


Sighing Contently with my newly discovered, yummy GF Cookie Mix (Thank You Betty Crocker!),

Me

Motivational Moment:

May you have simple little pleasures in life that bring you joy.

Today's Moment is dedicated to Dustin and Spencer.  If you have not seen it (which 10 million people have as of today!!), Spencer proposed to Dustin in Home Depot and it is such a beautiful display of love, I had to share it (Proposal).  Thank you both for sharing your love with us!  It is an inspiration and is beautiful!  Best wishes for a fabulous life to both of you!