When my twins were newborns, a co-worker (who had college-aged kids)
said to me: "It goes by so fast, so enjoy it!". At the time, I was
exhausted with two babies and literally felt like college was an eternity away. I was thinking - this time cannot go by fast enough!!
However, I was wrong. I wish I could go back to them being newborns and
holding and cherishing every moment (even though that really is
challenging with a level of exhaustion that is almost unbearable).
My mom has always said that the older you get, the faster the years go. And the older I get, I find that to be scarily true! I literally can't believe I am about to turn 50! This photo is basically this blog in one image - in a blink of an eye, your children grow up ... and your life passes.
I have been thinking about writing this post since my twins turned 18. That happened in February of 2020, and well, we all know what 2020 brought us. Ironically, as I am writing this, I feel that the actual year of 2020 was almost as if life was put on hold. The entire year feels like a vacuum in time. I honestly don't know where the year went. Life as we knew it certainly was dramatically different - school was now virtual, all social gatherings were cancelled - at least in large quantities, businesses closed or went virtual (if they could), the world struggled with chaos, crises, and devastating loss. My daughters had to deal with a virtual graduation from high school; having the end of their senior year occur from our house rather than walking the high school halls as the top dogs; their internships getting cancelled (and I was really excited for them and proud of them for the internships they had set up). Then as the pandemic continued, they had to deal with their first semester at college being very different than normal with classes being virtual and no socialization. To say I am proud of these girls is an understatement. They rolled with the punches and continue to excel.
There is some life advice that my mom passed on to me. She said: "There's two things that are really important to have in your household. The first is a really good vacuum. The second is a good set of stainless steel pans. And I can say - that was darned good advice. I have the same set of good quality pans she got me for my wedding - and they still look the same 25 years later. And I also will say that I LOVE a good vacuum. I love how the carpet looks and feels after a good vacuum. I realize that this is not deep level wisdom, however this is good stuff to know when it comes to adulting.
Another piece of Life Advice that I often reiterate to them is to be your own advocate. Stand up for yourself (and your children). If you are not happy with a doctor - whether it's a vibe or their plan of action or they don't listen to you - if anything doesn't sit well with you, then find someone who you respect and trust and who does listen to you. Remember that you are paying them, so they work for you! Everyone is human and no one is perfect.
Choose a partner who treats you kindly and with respect. If they make you feel bad about yourself, then leave - for yourself. You only get one life, if you are not happy with your current reality, then change it. No one else can do it for you. Only you will live your life and walk your individual path.
But mostly my advice is to enjoy yourself. Life is so short. And genetically, we (our family) are perfectionists, worriers, "A" students, and Type A personalities. We want perfection and success - in our bodies, in our partners, in our homes, in our careers. We stress when we don't get it, but nothing - no person, no body, no partner - is perfect, so we end up being hard on ourselves and our partners. I wish I could easily snap my fingers and change this for you because I know how hard it makes life. But since I can't do that, what I can do is be your advocate, for the rest of my life. I will be there to help you when you are being too hard on yourself. Us Sensitives suffer, but we also bring so much love and light into this world - which is SO needed. After 49 years of living, I am realizing that it's ALL about the journey and not the NEXT thing. I once read something about a "next addiction" and I find that it is what I do. Always planning and/or worrying about what comes next. But truly what we need to do is to enjoy the now, which means easing up on yourself. You are doing the best you can.
And lastly, to my youngest. I see you. Your 18th is 2.5 years away and I am in no hurry to see it come, even though I know you can't wait.
Keep Shining on My Loves!!
Forever and Always,
Your Advocate, Your Momma,
Me
P.S. The advice I gave to your cousin on his 18th is also advice I love for you (and for all 18 year olds), you can find it here.
Motivational Moment:
Another Life’s Little LaughablesTM: Whenever I think of some sage wisdom that I want my daughters to know, I always used to say: "If I were to drop dead right now, I'd want you to know this piece of life advice..." One day, my daughter finally said: "Can you think of another, less-morbid, way to word that?!". So now whenever I want to tell them sage life advice, I simply preface it with "Here is another important thing for you to remember in life...".
Peace, Love, and Hugs,
Momma (aka SG)
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