I have never had a problem with birthdays. I especially thought people were silly when they talked about how "old" they felt when turning any age in their 30's or 40's.
All that has changed with me rounding 50.
I guess I can say I have been in my mid-life crises the last few years.
And a quick aside here ... when I was younger, I had always thought mid-life crises occurred in your late 50s and 60s, but let's face it, not many people live to be 100 or 120. In fact, now that I'm close to 50, I am surprised at how many people I have heard of lately who have passed away in their 50s or even before hitting 50!
So, if my "mid-life" crises started around age 46 or 47, let's just say I'll be surprised if I survive until I'm 92. I'm 48 now and I'm amazed at how "old" my joints seem. They are not happy on most days. And you can forget jogging or running or biking; I'm lucky some days if I can simply walk from the parking lot to my desk. And don't even get me started on my dry eyes!!
I digress, as usual. This is not a lament on my joint pains or anxieties or worries or how I feel the body is just falling apart, yes ... I can go on and on about the myriad of body maladies ... but that is for another day.
This post is about my mid-life crises in the sense that this can't be it. I'm not in my dream job. I have not made huge societal accomplishments. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up!! And that scares the crap out of me! I want to DO so much more, BE so much more than this mere ordinary existence. I want to do something I am PASSIONATE about, before my time here is gone. I just have no idea what that should be, and that is what bothers me. I do, however, feel strongly that the world needs people who are passionate and alive; if everyone was doing what they love, the world would be a much happier place!
Running Out of Time,
Passionately Yours,
Me
(On a side note, this blog was drafted almost 2 years ago, but I somehow never got around to posting it - which ironically goes with my theme of running out of time!! Anyways, the below conversation was too good to not post, so here it is - even if a little late. Better late than never folks!!)
Motivational Moment:
Today's Moment is one of my Life’s Little LaughablesⓇ
My daughter who is 17 and a senior in high school was really stressing out about a homework assignment that was taking her longer than it should. We had gone out to dinner but there was a half hour wait and that really stressed her out; she did NOT have time to sit there all night with so much homework that needed to be done. So I said, "No Problem. We will simply order the food To Go and head home.
On the drive home, she was explaining how she was very unhappy that she couldn't decide on what article to do her assignment on and she had already spent way too much time looking for the perfect article. She exclaimed: "I'm so stupid!! ...". And I immediately cut her off. (This girl has been considered gifted academically since 4th grade and has maintained a 4.0 average all of high school). So I'm about to get into this big dissertation about how she should NOT talk down to herself like that and it is because she is a perfectionist and that is a trait she inherited from her mom, etc. and how that trait makes you want things to be perfect so you try harder and work harder and still aren't happy with the results because, let's face it, nothing is perfect! So all that went through my head in the heartbeat of hearing her stressed out and making that statement.
Here is how the conversation flowed:
- 17 yo daughter: " ... I'm so stupid! I'm spending way too much time on the research portion of this assignment..."
- Me: "Hey!! I WANT YOU TO KNOW ..."
- 14 yo daughter (sitting in the back seat of the car): "YOU ARE DUMB!"
Literally, in a split second, her bratty freshman sister, interjected her wit. And I have to say, we all laughed. I said "white flag. I surrender!". Obviously, we all know she is not dumb and that, in fact, quite the opposite is true, which is why that little exchange was hilarious to me.
I did tell her that she needs to not speak to herself like that. She can acknowledge that she is a perfectionist and Type A personality and wants things perfect, but in no way should her self-talk be negative towards herself.
Wishing you all laughing, loving moments with your loved ones.
Love and Hugs,
SG
No comments:
Post a Comment