A good friend of mine is going through a tough time in his marriage right now. And when I say tough - it is as bad as it gets with his wife telling him she wants a divorce. I get divorces. People are different. Shit happens. You grow apart or never should have married in the first place. But as anyone who is worth their weight in freaking sugar (purposefully NOT saying gold here - because even average Joe should understand this) - it takes TWO to tango. It is not one person's fault (granted I am not talking extreme cases such as abuse or addictions) when talking about two average, every day people. I mean freaking relationship 101 is you don't try to change someone - especially going into a marriage. If you don't like who the person is, well then for Pete's sakes - DON'T MARRY THEM!! If you do marry them, don't tell them that they need to change while you think you are freaking Princess Perfect (or Prince Perfect). Because if there is one absolute certainty in this life - it's that NO ONE is perfect!!
Life is hard. There is death (another certainty) - with so many miserable ways to go (the worst being a slow torturous disease). There are illnesses and stress and money issues and job issues; the list is endless. But if the people who are supposed to be our biggest supporters (such as family and friends) end up being our biggest enemies - then I say - free yourself of them! Life is too short. You have to be you and enjoy the unique, special gifts that you, and you alone bring to this world!
The people that are supposed to be here to help and support you should do just that! Which leads me to another thing that enrages me when I hear about it - and that is therapists or psychologists or psychiatrists or any mental health professional who is supposed to be here - in their professional role - to support you and help you get through your troubled times! When I hear stories of them making people feel bad about themselves or make them think they are crazy - it makes me sick - (that also makes me think that the so-called professionals are crazy and should certainly not be in that role - ruining others' life when they most need help and encouragement!). I have been to therapists when I have gone through my "crisis panic" years and there are two facts that I can say from my experience. The first fact is that you need to find the right therapist that fits you. If your personalities don't mesh, or if they rub you the wrong way; if it doesn't feel right, you need to get the hell out and find the right one for you . The second fact that I know from my own experience, is that a good therapist makes you feel good about yourself, about who you are. They give you hope and coping skills. They make life seem brighter and do-able. THAT is how a mental health professional should be. If they make you feel like crap about yourself - get the hell away from them and don't go back to them! There are good ones out there and there are ones that will mesh with your personality - whatever it is.
Can you tell I feel strongly about these two topics?!
I just met an amazing man (David Fiala) who is a hands on healer. (Ahh - I so wish he could simply lay his hands on me and say "You are HEALED" but alas - the work must come from within me). Meeting him was fabulous because he was all positivity and love. For the first time, someone made me think about having a soul and what that truly meant and that we are here to spread LOVE to one another...NOT hate or negativity. It was eye opening, anxiety-freeing, and a breath of fresh air. Here is his website if you are interested: http://thepowerofyourawareness.com/
Lovingly Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
For my Motivational Moment - I wanted to post some pictures from my newest favorite website: http://www.magickalgraphics.com/
Enjoy!
Sending Love to you all!
So, your therapist isn't allowed to tell you when you're being outrageously stupid, because that's, what, not supporting you??? Why would you even waste money on therapy if you didn't want someone who is able to deliver the truth?
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more, girl. You are paying a therapist to let you know if you are being stupid and unrealistic. My point, however, is that we all have personalities that we mesh with and conversely, personalities that we don't mesh with. If you do not feel comfortable with your therapist (not because they are trying to get you to be realistic - but because they rub you the wrong way based on a conflict in personality types) you should look for a different therapist. Since you are paying them to help you, you should be able to benefit from the sessions. I, of course, can only speak from personal experience with dealing with therapists for anxiety; I can not speak to any issue other than that.
DeleteThank you for your comment and giving me the chance to clarify my point. :)