I figured since I have so many 'deep thought' blogs, I would go ahead and write this one - despite my fear of being ridiculed for writing about such frivolity. Screw it - I am tired of living in fear over stupid things!
So here is my question to you world - just how importance is appearance? Seems like a silly question in that the answer is glaringly obvious - but is it? Does a woman with a younger appearance get treated better than a woman who appears older? Is she more successful? Or is it her knowledge and how she carries herself? This is one of those things where - if I were a full-time writer - I would do a study and have my hair be different colors and write about the results. Do blonds have more fun? Reds? And what does a completely gray head of hair get you in regards to experiences and professional successes?
I am 41 years old. I have dyed my hair red for the past 2 years for the mere joy of it. My natural color is a dull, dark brown and I decided to have some fun going to red. I have loved it. It has been fun. It puts me in a good mood; it makes me happy; I have received many compliments from men and women. However, in my new effort to live and eat more naturally, I have decided I want to stop putting that dye on my head every 2 months!
As my roots are starting to grow out, I have realized that I have quite the amount of gray hairs coming through! Which, for the record, was never told to me - the fact that you actually start getting grays in your early 40s, even 30s! What the heck - I thought that happened in your 60s. But no, apparently it is, and has been for many decades, the norm for women to dye that gray out. Because God forbid we naturally age like men. Why is the norm for women to have to dye their gray out and yet it is perfectly acceptable for men to 'age naturally'? So we women are expected to subject ourselves to all kinds of toxic chemicals while men aren't? That is not fair!
Since I have been pondering this thought, I have been paying attention to the hair of those all around me. And I notice that A LOT of women dye their hair. Whether it is making it blond (when they are not blond at all) or adding blond highlights to dark hair, or dyeing it any other number of colors. There are alot of reds out there. I am really going to miss being red and feeling more youthful by looking more youthful. But it absolutely drives me crazy thinking that we can't be ourselves when we age. Unfortunately though, since it is not the societal norm, you end up being the odd man out. You end up looking way older than all your counter-parts, since they are indeed coloring their hair and are thus looking much more youthful than you! Ugh!
Back to my original question, is it a bad move professionally (and even personally) to not dye those grays? Unfortunately, I truly think that it is a bad move, professionally speaking, because I really do think appearance matters in the workplace and I think the more youthful appearance on a middle-aged person, the better chance they have at success. This may sound shallow to some, but it is my opinion (and my opinion is colored by society). Regardless, I have decided to throw caution to the wind and bravely step away from the bi-monthly habit of putting toxic chemicals on my head. Time will tell. I am not sure I want to see myself looking so aged. The thought is depressing. It is hard enough feeling aged without having to be worried about looking aged, before (what I would consider) my time.
So...Go Girl Power! Just Say No to dyeing our hair!!
*Sigh* If only it were that easy to change a very, very old societal norm.
In Search of the Fountain of Youth,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Today's moment is a shout out to a business I discovered while researching the disease, ALS, on-line. (Unfortunately, a friend of mine has this absolutely horrid disease. And, because of my research, I gained a new-found respect for Lou Gehrig and who he was. What a truly amazing man!). Anyways, the website: www.Angelsforhope.org was a link on one of the ALS sites. It is a nonprofit organization that offers free crocheted angels for anyone in need of hope. Its logo is: "Spreading Hope One Stitch at a Time". I love the logo; I love the premise of the organization. It is run by Cindy. Cindy really impressed me by her kindness as well as her passion and this shout out is for her. Keep up the great work, Cindy! You are an inspiration!!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
It's All Been Done Before
When I was walking through the Art Museum, I came across a Picasso painting (La Vie 1903) which started quite the philosophical train of thought in my head. The thought was that all people - since the beginning of people - struggle with all the same things we do. Now I realize that may sound like an incredibly simplistic statement (such that you are rolling your eyes saying 'No kidding, Genius') but bare with me here for a moment.
As a child (hopefully), we are blissfully unaware of all the realities of the world (ie. divorce, cancer, deaths, etc.). A child still feels the magical-ness of life. Play-dates, birthday parties, vacations, amusement parks, dreaming about finding your true love and living happily ever after. I was (and of course still am) a lover of romance novels and romantic comedies. They are filled with laughter and love and promise a life of happiness. Ahhh - if only life were that simple.
Seeing Picasso's painting, La Vie, which is about the suicide of his friend after being rejected by a lover (and perhaps was the start of Picasso's battle with depression, his "Blue Period"), made me realize that everything we are going through, has been experienced before us. As children, we are basically ego-centric. Life is all about us. We don't yet have the capacity to think of others (which is a good thing in my opinion, since life can be so challenging, at times, for adults).
As adults, we have the mentality that life is unfair to us or hard for us. As if these things only happen to us; our hardships are unique to us. The 'Why Me' mentality. But as I am getting older (and I feel I am actually getting to a happier part of my life because I am embracing life and my place here, in this life, on this planet) I realize that everyone has to deal with the not-so-good realities that come with living. No one is exempt; everyone has some kind of challenge.
(An aside - This last sentence leads me to digress for a moment. My last blog was about meeting people and if it was impactive to our lives on a whole (I had met an inspiring young man, while shopping at Target, who has had quite the hard life due to rheumatoid arthritis and other health issues). As my friend Pam commented on, she believes that everyone does make their mark on us and have a purpose. Which leads me to remembering my last job where I worked with a group of introverts. Understand that this is not me calling them introverts, this is what they will very strongly declare themselves. As I was struggling with whether I fit in with this group or not, I looked up extrovert and introvert definitions. Basically I concluded that I am truly a mixture of both. I am introverted in the sense that I prefer small intimate gatherings versus very large gatherings. I am extroverted in that I am an external processor. I do better when I can talk through things; it gets them out of my head, allowing me to think deeper and finish the thought and/or solve the problem (writing is also cathartic for the same reason). In one of the definitions of introvert I read, it said that introverts get energized by being alone. They internally process things and are motivated by that. If I were to be left alone with my thoughts, with no one to talk to (or to write the thoughts out), I would drive myself crazy. The thoughts just circle in my head and do not resolve. I end up exhausting myself and subsequently need a nap. (I LOVE naps by the way! And there is evidence that they are good for you. Yay!)
Okay - back to my main subject. As an adult, I am realizing that everyone (that has ever existed) has to deal with the realities of life. There are illnesses and injuries and deaths and money issues and getting along issues (ie. conflict with family or friends). Mind you, I don't mean this to dwell only on the negative, as I realize that everyone also experiences all of the good things - love, laughter, vacations, births, gifts, great food, etc. It is just that the worrier in me, perhaps, somehow finds solace in the fact that this has all been done before. That old adage "Misery loves company". Perhaps this is my 'Blue Period' like Picasso's. I feel my mid-life crisis started when I was 39 and a friend's husband and a neighbor of mine (separate people) passed away from cancer only one month apart. It terrified me that seemingly very healthy people (and relatively young people) could die of cancer so horribly. And then my panic came back or re-surged from 20 years prior and then joint pain descended on me. I have really been looking deeply at life for the past two years - but now I am finally getting over the uphill struggle and am coming to a better place. I am aware that I was born at this time period and that this is my time here on earth, right now. I have the right to be here - just like everyone else; and it is up to me whether or not I live it to the fullest.
I have also had several people (ranging from a holistic doctor to a masseuse) make the statement to me that "Everyone dies" when I get in the mode of stressing over the deaths of those close to me. Yes - I know - absolutely ground breaking! But, ironically, it is a calming statement in the time of a freak out. It is a fact of life that we need to embrace and if nothing else, try to enjoy our years of living as much as we can. I actually have to tell you this quick exchange that Pam and I had during one of our deep philosophical chats. I was stressed over a stat I had read that 1 out of 2 people will die of cancer. And Pam leaned toward me and emphatically said "Oh yea - well 1 out of 1 people will DIE". Ain't that the truth! And that crazy, simplistic, realistic statement was all it took to make me laugh out loud and stop stressing over life (at least for that moment in time).
Existentially Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
I am happy to say that I have come across several quotes that I felt were appropo to this blog entry. And I am even more thrilled to say that one of my goals for this blog (which was to have others share their motivational moments) has come to pass. A good friend of mine read my entries for the first time and forwarded me some of her favorite quotes - which of course I loved!
An absolutely profound quote; Corrie ten Boom has an amazing life story!!
2. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” ~ Matthew 6:27
3. "Some women go through life turning on lamps in the evening. Others are themselves a light." Helen Perkes
This one motivates me to want to be that light!
4. "Don’t allow the stuff of life to obscure the light that shines from within you. Share your illumination; brighten the day of another." Dr. Terry Gordon
5. "One never notices what has been done, one can only see what remains to be done." Marie Curie
My friend forwarded this quote to me referring to my blog on clutter. I love it; it is so true. I have since tried - when, at the end of the day, I am stressed with what I have yet to do - to look back and appreciate what I have done! What I also loved was the statement my friend made about the quote: "Pretty profound for someone who poisoned herself studying radiation and died a horrible death." One of life's ironies (and so fitting for this entry).
6. "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth." Picasso 1923
I found this quote on another Picasso painting at that same Art Museum exhibit (which started the musings for this blog entry). How appropriately it fit in with my philosophical thoughts that day.
All of these quotes on worrying and life's stresses just reinforces my entire point of this entry: We all have burdens; it's all been done before; and we are all in this together!!
I wish you all a life of not only being a light to others, but being your own light from within.
As a child (hopefully), we are blissfully unaware of all the realities of the world (ie. divorce, cancer, deaths, etc.). A child still feels the magical-ness of life. Play-dates, birthday parties, vacations, amusement parks, dreaming about finding your true love and living happily ever after. I was (and of course still am) a lover of romance novels and romantic comedies. They are filled with laughter and love and promise a life of happiness. Ahhh - if only life were that simple.
Seeing Picasso's painting, La Vie, which is about the suicide of his friend after being rejected by a lover (and perhaps was the start of Picasso's battle with depression, his "Blue Period"), made me realize that everything we are going through, has been experienced before us. As children, we are basically ego-centric. Life is all about us. We don't yet have the capacity to think of others (which is a good thing in my opinion, since life can be so challenging, at times, for adults).
As adults, we have the mentality that life is unfair to us or hard for us. As if these things only happen to us; our hardships are unique to us. The 'Why Me' mentality. But as I am getting older (and I feel I am actually getting to a happier part of my life because I am embracing life and my place here, in this life, on this planet) I realize that everyone has to deal with the not-so-good realities that come with living. No one is exempt; everyone has some kind of challenge.
(An aside - This last sentence leads me to digress for a moment. My last blog was about meeting people and if it was impactive to our lives on a whole (I had met an inspiring young man, while shopping at Target, who has had quite the hard life due to rheumatoid arthritis and other health issues). As my friend Pam commented on, she believes that everyone does make their mark on us and have a purpose. Which leads me to remembering my last job where I worked with a group of introverts. Understand that this is not me calling them introverts, this is what they will very strongly declare themselves. As I was struggling with whether I fit in with this group or not, I looked up extrovert and introvert definitions. Basically I concluded that I am truly a mixture of both. I am introverted in the sense that I prefer small intimate gatherings versus very large gatherings. I am extroverted in that I am an external processor. I do better when I can talk through things; it gets them out of my head, allowing me to think deeper and finish the thought and/or solve the problem (writing is also cathartic for the same reason). In one of the definitions of introvert I read, it said that introverts get energized by being alone. They internally process things and are motivated by that. If I were to be left alone with my thoughts, with no one to talk to (or to write the thoughts out), I would drive myself crazy. The thoughts just circle in my head and do not resolve. I end up exhausting myself and subsequently need a nap. (I LOVE naps by the way! And there is evidence that they are good for you. Yay!)
Okay - back to my main subject. As an adult, I am realizing that everyone (that has ever existed) has to deal with the realities of life. There are illnesses and injuries and deaths and money issues and getting along issues (ie. conflict with family or friends). Mind you, I don't mean this to dwell only on the negative, as I realize that everyone also experiences all of the good things - love, laughter, vacations, births, gifts, great food, etc. It is just that the worrier in me, perhaps, somehow finds solace in the fact that this has all been done before. That old adage "Misery loves company". Perhaps this is my 'Blue Period' like Picasso's. I feel my mid-life crisis started when I was 39 and a friend's husband and a neighbor of mine (separate people) passed away from cancer only one month apart. It terrified me that seemingly very healthy people (and relatively young people) could die of cancer so horribly. And then my panic came back or re-surged from 20 years prior and then joint pain descended on me. I have really been looking deeply at life for the past two years - but now I am finally getting over the uphill struggle and am coming to a better place. I am aware that I was born at this time period and that this is my time here on earth, right now. I have the right to be here - just like everyone else; and it is up to me whether or not I live it to the fullest.
I have also had several people (ranging from a holistic doctor to a masseuse) make the statement to me that "Everyone dies" when I get in the mode of stressing over the deaths of those close to me. Yes - I know - absolutely ground breaking! But, ironically, it is a calming statement in the time of a freak out. It is a fact of life that we need to embrace and if nothing else, try to enjoy our years of living as much as we can. I actually have to tell you this quick exchange that Pam and I had during one of our deep philosophical chats. I was stressed over a stat I had read that 1 out of 2 people will die of cancer. And Pam leaned toward me and emphatically said "Oh yea - well 1 out of 1 people will DIE". Ain't that the truth! And that crazy, simplistic, realistic statement was all it took to make me laugh out loud and stop stressing over life (at least for that moment in time).
Existentially Yours,
Me
Motivational Moment:
I am happy to say that I have come across several quotes that I felt were appropo to this blog entry. And I am even more thrilled to say that one of my goals for this blog (which was to have others share their motivational moments) has come to pass. A good friend of mine read my entries for the first time and forwarded me some of her favorite quotes - which of course I loved!
1. "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." Corrie ten Boom, Dutch writer.
2. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” ~ Matthew 6:27
3. "Some women go through life turning on lamps in the evening. Others are themselves a light." Helen Perkes
This one motivates me to want to be that light!
4. "Don’t allow the stuff of life to obscure the light that shines from within you. Share your illumination; brighten the day of another." Dr. Terry Gordon
5. "One never notices what has been done, one can only see what remains to be done." Marie Curie
My friend forwarded this quote to me referring to my blog on clutter. I love it; it is so true. I have since tried - when, at the end of the day, I am stressed with what I have yet to do - to look back and appreciate what I have done! What I also loved was the statement my friend made about the quote: "Pretty profound for someone who poisoned herself studying radiation and died a horrible death." One of life's ironies (and so fitting for this entry).
6. "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth." Picasso 1923
I found this quote on another Picasso painting at that same Art Museum exhibit (which started the musings for this blog entry). How appropriately it fit in with my philosophical thoughts that day.
All of these quotes on worrying and life's stresses just reinforces my entire point of this entry: We all have burdens; it's all been done before; and we are all in this together!!
I wish you all a life of not only being a light to others, but being your own light from within.
Confessions of a Stress-a-holic
Confessions of a Stress-a-holic - not to be confused with Confessions of a Shop-a-holic.
This time of year is a dream come true for a Shop-a-holic. All the shop-til-you-drop til their hearts content. They are energized and inspired by all the shopping madness. On the converse, this crazed time of shopping is an ongoing nightmare for us Stress-a-holics!
Back in October, when I was enjoying a beautiful fall day in all its splendid glory, I told myself I was NOT going to get stressed out this holiday season! I am going to enjoy all it has to offer. It is not mere coincidence that EVERY single year - right around Christmas - I come down with a severe sinus infection. Can we say STRESS! It's not as if life isn't already crazy enough with three kids and working full time (because it SO is!), but no, at Christmas time (in fact, the many weeks leading up to it) we are deluged with not only finding time to shop, but also fitting in school parties and concerts and decorating and sending Christmas cards. Agh! Just writing all of that stresses me out! And the sad thing is that Christmas started to be overwhelming for me when I was eight months pregnant with my first pregnancy. I was tired and exhausted and protested my husband decorating the house for Christmas (maybe it was guilt because I was just too tired to help) and little did I know that this was just the beginning. I had no idea how busy and exhausted you are and how fast the days go when you have babies. It was ignorance from inexperience - which is to be expected. (That statement - 'ignorance from inexperience' - is eye opening and makes me think if everyone thought that about everyone else in the world, how much more tolerant of a world this would be. How refreshing if there was no judging of others since we haven't walked in their shoes!) Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about having children. I know a lot of people would love to have the opportunity to have kids and they are not able to for whatever reason. I am merely musing that once I had kids, I stressed myself out even more with the holidays. I think that may stem from the fact that it was so magical for me as a child and I want to make it just as magical for my kids.
But if I have learned nothing in the past couple years, it is that life goes by too fast. For some of us, it ends way too early. We have to stop and smell the flowers. We were at breakfast with Santa yesterday morning and I started to feel the impatience of having to wait in a very long line. But shame on me for not enjoying the moment; for not joking around with my family and enjoying the fact that we are all in good health and all together. And of course, when it was our turn, I absolutely loved Santa's attention to each child as well as being able to take several different pictures ourselves. I needed to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. What a waste of life otherwise. (I should tattoo this mantra on me for our upcoming family vacation!!)
A friend of mine gave me the best advice for Christmas time. And it actually came about when we were talking about Santa Claus and our kids. And she said if there wasn't the magic of Santa Claus, she would never have the energy to do what has to be done around the holidays. And as simple as that, my view of it went from a negative one to a positive one. Instead of dreading it and being grumpy, I want to look forward to it and appreciate the fact that I can have the magic live on through me for others. It was such a refreshing viewpoint, I really liked hearing it and decided right then that I was going to adopt that viewpoint!
In Hopes of Enjoying the Ride and NOT just the Destination,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Here are some quotes I came across this past week that I liked:
1. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim
- This quote is the embodiment of enjoying the ride and not waiting for the destination. I love it!
2. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. Steve Jobs
There are days when we feel that we can conquer the world and days when we feel like the world is conquering us. May more of your days be like the former rather than the latter.
This time of year is a dream come true for a Shop-a-holic. All the shop-til-you-drop til their hearts content. They are energized and inspired by all the shopping madness. On the converse, this crazed time of shopping is an ongoing nightmare for us Stress-a-holics!
Back in October, when I was enjoying a beautiful fall day in all its splendid glory, I told myself I was NOT going to get stressed out this holiday season! I am going to enjoy all it has to offer. It is not mere coincidence that EVERY single year - right around Christmas - I come down with a severe sinus infection. Can we say STRESS! It's not as if life isn't already crazy enough with three kids and working full time (because it SO is!), but no, at Christmas time (in fact, the many weeks leading up to it) we are deluged with not only finding time to shop, but also fitting in school parties and concerts and decorating and sending Christmas cards. Agh! Just writing all of that stresses me out! And the sad thing is that Christmas started to be overwhelming for me when I was eight months pregnant with my first pregnancy. I was tired and exhausted and protested my husband decorating the house for Christmas (maybe it was guilt because I was just too tired to help) and little did I know that this was just the beginning. I had no idea how busy and exhausted you are and how fast the days go when you have babies. It was ignorance from inexperience - which is to be expected. (That statement - 'ignorance from inexperience' - is eye opening and makes me think if everyone thought that about everyone else in the world, how much more tolerant of a world this would be. How refreshing if there was no judging of others since we haven't walked in their shoes!) Now don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about having children. I know a lot of people would love to have the opportunity to have kids and they are not able to for whatever reason. I am merely musing that once I had kids, I stressed myself out even more with the holidays. I think that may stem from the fact that it was so magical for me as a child and I want to make it just as magical for my kids.
But if I have learned nothing in the past couple years, it is that life goes by too fast. For some of us, it ends way too early. We have to stop and smell the flowers. We were at breakfast with Santa yesterday morning and I started to feel the impatience of having to wait in a very long line. But shame on me for not enjoying the moment; for not joking around with my family and enjoying the fact that we are all in good health and all together. And of course, when it was our turn, I absolutely loved Santa's attention to each child as well as being able to take several different pictures ourselves. I needed to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. What a waste of life otherwise. (I should tattoo this mantra on me for our upcoming family vacation!!)
A friend of mine gave me the best advice for Christmas time. And it actually came about when we were talking about Santa Claus and our kids. And she said if there wasn't the magic of Santa Claus, she would never have the energy to do what has to be done around the holidays. And as simple as that, my view of it went from a negative one to a positive one. Instead of dreading it and being grumpy, I want to look forward to it and appreciate the fact that I can have the magic live on through me for others. It was such a refreshing viewpoint, I really liked hearing it and decided right then that I was going to adopt that viewpoint!
In Hopes of Enjoying the Ride and NOT just the Destination,
Me
Motivational Moment:
Here are some quotes I came across this past week that I liked:
1. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim
- This quote is the embodiment of enjoying the ride and not waiting for the destination. I love it!
2. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. Steve Jobs
There are days when we feel that we can conquer the world and days when we feel like the world is conquering us. May more of your days be like the former rather than the latter.
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